Conquering a Fear...And the Beautiful Result!

Once upon a time a sensitive mother purchased yards of expensive silk brocade for her daughter as a pre-wedding gift... mostly because said daughter had been fawning over the Asian design and rich royal blue color for a long time and this mother thought it would go a long way towards soothing her 'day-before-the-wedding' jitters...and a kimono pattern so that yardage would go to good use. (Wait, at this point the daughter didn't even own a sewing machine! What were they thinking?)

Sadly, GUILTILY, the fabric sat in the daughter's fabric stash for 9 1/2 years because this gal didn't know HOW to read a pattern and was terrified of destroying the gorgeous fabric.

Until last week.

I am that daughter. I do sew, but the only clothing I've made were very simple/forgiving projects for my kids (costumes, straight lines, online tutorials for easy things, ya know)... Until I decided enough is enough. After all, the logical accusation was that I was wasting the gift just as much by NOT using it as I would be if I messed up the sewing. Time to put on my big girl pants and JUMP IN!

I decided I would rarely use a kimono, so why not try something I could wear more regularly? The brocade lent itself to a fit-and-flare design because of the weight of the fabric. I bought a pattern (Simplicity 1418), made a mock up in muslin first so I could learn a few things, and read and reread those instructions! I am really proud that I stretched myself to a) figure out how to read a pattern, b) sew darts, c) sew pleats, d) sew fitted sleeves, e) sew in a zipper and f) make adjustments to the pattern so that it was a custom fit! Weight loss not-withstanding, I still have my original body shape with which to contend, so adjusting the pattern to my specs proved a challenge indeed! I'm happy to say, I conquered! (and I think my next dress will be even better!)

and you know what? I've really been bitten by the fashion sewing bug! I whipped up this argyle peasant dress for Gwen for Valentine's Day (free fabric from a friend! Thanks, Rach!) and I've already got fabric and plans for Easter dresses... and even a couple more projects that should keep me busy into summer! Wondered where I've gone? Check my sewing room! I'll be there for a while!

Moral of the story? In conquering a fear, I've unleashed a monster!

Microscopic Milestones

Ever feel so great about a goal you've accomplished...
Only to realize later that compared to what you've STILL got to do, this was a minor accomplishment?

I reached a weight loss milestone Easter Sunday and was pretty stoked! Rewarded myself with a new shirt to wear and bragged to Eric so he could give me a big congratulatory high five and hug. I love how proud of me he is.

And then that night we video chatted with family... and when I caught a view of myself all the wind went out of my sails. The urge to share my 'accomplishment' with everyone fizzled. Because I don't LOOK like I reached I milestone. I don't LOOK like I've done diddly squat! And that is so extremely frustrating.

Eric reassured me that it is all mathematical equations. That when a sphere has lost half of its volume it has only decreased its radius by the tiniest percentage. (Yes, isn't my nerdy husband the cutest/sweetest thing? Who brings up math to comfort their wife? Oh, my man does. ha ha Love him!) Ugh. Thanks dear for helping me accept my current state... but you DO realize that only makes the future look even more daunting? Because by the same logic I've got a TON of work left to do before I see what I want to see in the mirror. So. Here's my pep talk to myself and any of you seeing only the long road ahead:

You've got this. Don't give up now. You're not alone. Be proud of what you've done! Gird up your loins because the next portion of the mountain climb is a steep slope... but remember the view at the top will be worth it!

And go ahead. Brag about your 'minor' milestones. :)

#2 Family History

Today while the girls napped (because, yes, they BOTH slept! Crankies...),

I worked on my family history.

I find this very exciting, totally addictive, and most of the time soooo frustrating, and yet sweetly rewarding.

So many times I am exhausted and know I need to call it quits... but I just think

'what if the next image has the marriage I'm looking for? Just one more...'....

I could do that to myself EVERY time. I have to set clear quotas and then put it off til next designated research time. Because I can't wait for those

thrilling, exciting, goose-bump-inducing moments

when you realize that you are staring at a screen providing

deeper insight into the life of an ancestor,

information you desperately needed to verify vitals like birth/death/marriage/parents,

and, of course, details providing a tantalizing lead for another piece of the puzzle.

It is never ending!

Last week I discovered that my maternal great grandmother was an illegitimate child, and that my great-great-grandfather showed up to acknowledge her as his own when she was 4 years old. I already knew that my great-great-grandmother was married before, but this explained why I just couldn't find a marriage for her and my g-g-gpa. Man, I'd like to read a journal or something. What kind of story did they have? That's what I'm talking about... lil details that are just so tantalizing...

Did you know that FamilySearch.org has updated their website and includes browsable image libraries now? So you don't have to order microfilms, pay money, wait wait wait, try and fannagle a time in your schedule to drive up to a family history library 20 minutes away, and then try to juggle kids while sitting in a dark room to examine the films on a reader... and then there was always the frustration if you ordered a film with no helpful info and then had to order another and wait some more... no no, my friends, the exciting news is that you can do it at home and online. Free. Convenient. Beautiful.

I am in love!

20 lb loss, hooray!

Well, folks, I am excited to report that I have successfully lost 20 lbs since I started trying (gym and eating healthy) in late June (6 months ago)!

I am thrilled to have reached my pre-pregnancy weight! I've noticed, though, that even achieving my pre-prego weight has not gotten me back to my pre-prego figure. Apparently, I'm going to have to keep going. In fact, based upon the improvements I've seen over the past 20 lbs and the way I WANT to eventually look, I think I'm going to have to modify my goal weight (which is still 10 lbs away) down another 10 lbs. Which means, if you do the math, that I've reached the half way point! I am happy about it and super motivated to keep working because I'm feeling great and looking great too! My ultimate goal is more ubiquitous, rather than arriving at a specific weight: I want to be back in my favorite jeans from when I was engaged (size 6) and be trim and strong in general. I can't wait to be HOT by summer! (and I'll look awesome in all those graduation pics!)

So even though I'm only half way there, I'm stoked about a 20 lb milestone and looking for a non-food way to celebrate. Trouble is, we don't have any money. Hmmmm.... any ideas?

Feeling Rich

There is something incredibly satisfying to me about storing up food. And it isn't because I have 'peace of mind' or feel prepared for an emergency. No, for me it feels more satisfying in the same way it is satisfying to put quarters in a piggy bank or make a deposit in the bank. Like I'm rich. Yeah, that sums it up. When I see all the jars lined up so prettily, I feel like a million bucks.

4 different varieties of salsa: 7 quarts and 7 pints

(had the 4 different kinds--chipotle roasted veggie, zesty lots of bell peppers, fiesta with cucumber, and jalapeno with lots of cilantro-- in 4 separate bowls on the table to try to keep them all straight). All of the spicy peppers (not the bell) the cilantro and the cucumber were from our garden.

applesauce from Melrose apples: 9 quarts

On the Pumpkin Farm

Our church is really great about bringing people together, helping to make everyone feel comfortable and welcome. I love this about our congregation. It makes Ohio home and so many of my friends are like family. One dear friend organized a fun outing to a pumpkin patch. The turn out wasn't as large as normal because the weather advertised rain... but none came. In fact, the weather was pretty much perfect because there was a nice cool breeze but the sun was warm and bright. We had a wonderful time with our close-knit group and our children running around together.

Caroline was kind of a stinkerpot (she had her immunizations the day before) and so I sent Gwen on the hay ride with friends (thanks so much you guys!) while I waited with the squirt in the stroller.

There is something so comforting and down-to-earth about being on a farm. I love seeing my lil "sprouts" growing and am reminded of the work it takes to cultivate them... and the obvious rewards of putting plenty of care towards the eventual harvest. And you know, there is definitely a daily harvest too. :)

Eric Makes Us All Proud

Eric makes me so proud.

I don't brag about him enough in this blog. Usually posts are dominated by kid antics, photos, or random musings of my own. But I really need to take this opportunity to share some of Eric's accomplishments in the past 2 weeks.

He not only got accepted into the Landacre Honor Society (a medical research honors society), but scored a 3,000 scholarship for his excellent research in Radiation Oncology.

In the same week, he presented a poster on his research and was awarded a 500 dollar travel award so that he could present his research at various conferences.

And that day was actually my due date. (Good thing she was late, eh? Eric wouldn't have been able to present if he'd been at the hospital with me.) So immediately after scoring these recognitions, we were greeted by our lil gal. Needless to say, the emails that floated around the department about Eric's awards and his new family member were pretty impressed with all his accomplishments! Well-deserved recognition, if you ask me. He has worked so hard this year to try and boost his match potential...and it is validating to see his efforts finally bearing fruit!

We are so proud of you hon!!!!

Reward

15 page paper COMPLETED!!!!! Hooray!

A focused, busy week of research and writing! (Doing all the textbook reading, finding articles, gathering other sources and reading them, and typing the entire paper--all within 2 weeks--really pushed me to a thin point where I nearly cracked.) It has been a looooong, exhausting week. While I desperately needed a break during the week, I pushed through....and this is my reward for being diligent!

I treat myself to a little crafting.

sigh.

The bliss of a relaxing project as a reward.

Making a rag quilt for Gwen's toddler bed (she's not in one yet, this is just preparatory)

What is your preferred reward for hard work?