Microscopic Milestones

Ever feel so great about a goal you've accomplished...
Only to realize later that compared to what you've STILL got to do, this was a minor accomplishment?

I reached a weight loss milestone Easter Sunday and was pretty stoked! Rewarded myself with a new shirt to wear and bragged to Eric so he could give me a big congratulatory high five and hug. I love how proud of me he is.

And then that night we video chatted with family... and when I caught a view of myself all the wind went out of my sails. The urge to share my 'accomplishment' with everyone fizzled. Because I don't LOOK like I reached I milestone. I don't LOOK like I've done diddly squat! And that is so extremely frustrating.

Eric reassured me that it is all mathematical equations. That when a sphere has lost half of its volume it has only decreased its radius by the tiniest percentage. (Yes, isn't my nerdy husband the cutest/sweetest thing? Who brings up math to comfort their wife? Oh, my man does. ha ha Love him!) Ugh. Thanks dear for helping me accept my current state... but you DO realize that only makes the future look even more daunting? Because by the same logic I've got a TON of work left to do before I see what I want to see in the mirror. So. Here's my pep talk to myself and any of you seeing only the long road ahead:

You've got this. Don't give up now. You're not alone. Be proud of what you've done! Gird up your loins because the next portion of the mountain climb is a steep slope... but remember the view at the top will be worth it!

And go ahead. Brag about your 'minor' milestones. :)

#13 Soup in Winter

#13 I love soup on a cold day.

Perfect because it is warm and comforting, makes the entire house smell delicious, and fills you up.

ps. not my pic, just one I got off the internet. Basically what it looked like, though. Enjoy!

My current faves are pureed veggie soups, mostly because they are super healthy and filling without extra calories. They help me feel satisfied and confident that my 'indulgence' isn't going to destroy my goal. If anything, it will help it. Since we got back from vaca, I've instituted Wednesday night as soup night. We've had some awesome ones and more awesome ones scheduled... but the best was our soup last night:

Roasted Garlic and Butternut Squash

(from Soups, Starters, and Salads edited by Felicity Forster)

serves 4-5

• 2 garlic bulbs, outer papery skin removed
• 5 T olive oil (I used 2 and it was still awesome!)
• a few thyme sprigs
• 1 large butternut squash, halved and seeded
• 2 onions, chopped
• 1t ground coriander
• 2 pints/5 C chicken stock
• 1-2 T fresh oregano (or t if using dried)
• salt and ground black pepper

1. preheat oven to 425
2. place garlic bulbs on a piece of foil and pour over half the olive oil. add the thyme sprigs, fold foil around garlic so enclosed completely.
3. place foil parcel on a baking sheet with the butternut squash and brush squash with the a T olive oil.
4. roast the veggies for 25 minutes. reduce temp to 375 and cook 20-25 min more, or until the squash is tender.
5. heat remaining oil in a pan, cook the onions and ground coriander gently for about 10 min, until softened.
6. squeeze roasted garlic out of its papery skin into the onions and scoop the squash out of its skin, adding it to the pan. add the stock, 1 t salt and plenty of black pepper. Bring to a boil and simmer gently for 10 minutes.
7. stir in the oregano, cool soup slightly, then puree in food processor or blender.
8. reheat the soup without allowing it to boil. serve in bowls with salsa and oregano garnish if desired (but we didn't and I didn't miss them. the soup is plenty flavorful by itself!)

a smooth, creamy soup (without cream-- just the great creamy texture of veggies), the deep, nutty flavor of roasted garlic, the sweet subtlety of butternut squash-- absolutely amazing! Caroline thougth this was the best dinner ever!

I am in love!

20 lb loss, hooray!

Well, folks, I am excited to report that I have successfully lost 20 lbs since I started trying (gym and eating healthy) in late June (6 months ago)!

I am thrilled to have reached my pre-pregnancy weight! I've noticed, though, that even achieving my pre-prego weight has not gotten me back to my pre-prego figure. Apparently, I'm going to have to keep going. In fact, based upon the improvements I've seen over the past 20 lbs and the way I WANT to eventually look, I think I'm going to have to modify my goal weight (which is still 10 lbs away) down another 10 lbs. Which means, if you do the math, that I've reached the half way point! I am happy about it and super motivated to keep working because I'm feeling great and looking great too! My ultimate goal is more ubiquitous, rather than arriving at a specific weight: I want to be back in my favorite jeans from when I was engaged (size 6) and be trim and strong in general. I can't wait to be HOT by summer! (and I'll look awesome in all those graduation pics!)

So even though I'm only half way there, I'm stoked about a 20 lb milestone and looking for a non-food way to celebrate. Trouble is, we don't have any money. Hmmmm.... any ideas?

New Year, New Daily Routine

Hey folks! Well, it has been a while. I think this pattern might continue for a bit. Not that any of you readers will really be interested in knowing my daily to-do list, but I think it valid for posterity to know that I was a productive queen yesterday!

I finished all the unpacking,

wrestled boxes and suitcases up into their proper nooks in the closet,

2 loads of laundry folded and put away,

2 loads of dishes washed and put away,

living room tidied up,

prepared and fed Gwen lunch,

Gwen's clothes and toys all put away nicely,

took out all the food and scrubbed the fridge

(thanks to spilled and crystalized maple syrup, this was a real elbow grease chore),

grocery shopping completed during a driving snow

(oh, and bonus, I only spent 3/5 of what I normally spend! Hooray for thrift!),

dinner made and enjoyed,

played with Gwen for hours,

Anne of Green Gables finished,

read 2 chapters in my textbook for my music class,

had a wonderfully meaningful scripture study and Sunday school lesson planning,

put away huge stacks of books at the top of the stairs,

checked email and blogs,

updated my etsy products,

requested books and music from the library,

had Family Home Evening about the Creation with Gwen,

cut Eric's hair,

wrote about 2010 goals in my journal,

and relaxed on the couch.

Whew! I felt so motivated and satisfied with my 'accomplishments'. I love being able to cross things off the to-do list! Few things are more demoralizing than working on things all day but never getting anywhere or finishing anything so that nothing gets crossed off that list. But yesterday was not one of those days. :) Here I am giving myself a very nice pat on the back. :) The only thing I didn't get done was baking a pecan pie for family night. We got over it. :)

The beginning of 2010 promises to offer many such full days to me. I hope I have the energy to take them all. I don't know. Today I'm feeling much less enthusiastic. But maybe that is because cleaning the bathrooms is on the to-do list for today? :P

Anyway, I plan to keep posting about daily life as the only form of scrapbooking, journal keeping, and family history that I'm doing right now. But I can't promise that my posts will be very frequent or very entertaining. Most likely, things will focus on Gwen. Which reminds me that I need to ask my mom for photos from our trip down to visit after Christmas. I hardly even got out my camera because my mom is kind of a shutterbug and took a plethora of photos, so I figured I'd just borrow hers. I'll share some when I get the chance.

I have a success story so I can divulge a secret!

I received a communication today. It said this:

"Congratulations! Your application for admission to the Humanities Master of Arts degree program has been approved. We are happy to welcome you and wish you the best in your future work."

That's right folks! It is official! I am going back to school for my Masters degree!
I will be studying through the
California State Dominguez Hills
distance learning program (HUX).
Why am I excited about this opportunity?

• first of all, who ISN'T excited about studying art, music, literature, history, and philosophy? I LOVE the humanities!
  
• short term goal: I'll be qualified to teach humanities and art history at a community college
• the above goal is desirable for both fun/personal fulfillment and for preparedness. It was a harsh reality when I couldn't find ANY full time job 2 years ago despite my 2 majors and years of experience
• distance learning means I'll be free to set my own hours, my own pace, my own homework schedule.
• best part is that the coursework isn't online (though resources are if I need to contact anyone quickly). I won't be glued to a computer, with all the eye and back trouble that accompany it. I can sit in a comfortable chair and read.
  
• I'll be working from home, around Gwen's nap schedule, with some Saturdays to spend in OSU's library on research.
  
• I estimate only 10-12 hours a week for school work.
  
• entire program is only 35 credits, about 2 years to a degree (not counting any time I end up taking off for baby #2)
• The program is very flexible and family-oriented, so deferring or taking breaks for important events like babies or moving won't be a huge paperwork fiasco.
  
• interesting coursework with fun classes on Mayan art history, female literature around the world, etc.
• The program design gives a broad/general base in 5 distinct humanities fields (literature, philosophy, music, art, history) but allows for specific specialization in one or two as well.
  
• I can emphasize 18 hours in Art History which more than doubles my chances of being hired as a professor at a community college post graduation
  
• I can design some of my own credits/coursework to be Asian specific if I desire (which, of course, I do!)
• the above bullet helps keep me "in the know" for my long term goal: after the kids are grown, get a PhD in Asian Art History or Asian Humanities with Korean emphasis
• There are no tests. Every grade is based on essays and papers. Since writing is my strong point, this is a thrilling prospect!
• entire tuition cost of program: 6,000 dollars! (not counting books or fees, of course) and my Education Grant after my service year in Americorps (at the YWCA) comes to 5,000 dollars... so really, we only have to dish out 500 dollars a year! :)

Well, that is it! Celebrate with me folks! Coursework begins in January!

ps. naturally, there is some apprehension. I will not have as much "free" time to do personal hobbies and projects. I'm sure there will be stressful days. I am trying to think positively, however, and view the blessings and opportunities as what they are: tender mercies from a loving Heavenly Father Who truly answers our prayers.

20 pounds, Good Riddance! and Don't come back!

Losing weight after baby isn't as easy as people make it look sometimes. I honestly thought the pounds would just peel off since I planned to nurse Gwen. So many of my friends actually shrunk because their babies just sucked so much out of them. I thought this would be the case for me. You might be interested to know that by the time I decided I needed to be more aggressive in my weight loss efforts, it had already been 5 months since Gwen was born. I had only lost 10 pounds total in that time, and 7.7 of it was Gwen! That means the first 5 months of 'losing the baby weight' resulted in a dismal 2 1/2 lbs.
Well, at that point I began an active weight loss effort.
(April 15th marks the day I wrote about it here.).

and now...

I'm proud as can be to announce...

That's right, folks! I've finally succeeded in
losing 20 lbs

Sorry, no before and after pics. You'll have to take my word for it.

It took months and months (almost 7 if you start counting from April), slow work, lots of effort, TONS of self control (good thing I'm in charge of the groceries or it would have been even harder... Eric loves to snack! And I love to join him!), and P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E.! Thankfully, I've got a very supportive husband who encourages me daily and tells me I'm beautiful on those "fat" days that make me want to give up and understanding friends who don't get offended when I turn down their delicious desserts. I only count the pounds completely off if I can go 7 days on the scale without "relapsing" to that weight again. Well, today marks the 7th day! So to those 20 lbs I say:

"Good bye and Good Riddance!"

oh, and if you try to come back around these parts, you're really gonna be in trouble!

I'm feeling comfortable with myself again, and I'm thrilled about that! So where to go from here?

I'm still not where I want to be, but my goals are less firm in my mind. I just want to look and feel great. I'm not sure if I should set another weight goal or be more specific with a 'size' goal-- like jean size or something. After all, it isn't the weight itself that bothers me at this point, since I'm in the 'normal' range for my height again. It is the target areas and the lack of fitting into clothes that still gets me. I'd like to have more than 5 shirts other than t-shirts to wear. and I'd really like to get back into my old jeans* (though let's be honest: they are size 6s and it just might not happen. I'd be happy with an 8).

*I was pretty depressed a month ago when I finally went with my birthday money to try on some jeans (since it is getting cold and wearing capris just wasn't going to work much longer) and I couldn't fit into the 10s. For those of you that think that is laughable, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I realize there are plenty of gals out there who also wear a size 12 like me, so there is nothing wrong with that. But since I was a size 6... does that mean there is twice as much of me? Even after losing so much weight? I was feeling pretty down. Don't you hate spending money on something that only reminds you how you still have a ways to go in the weight loss department? Anyway, the jeans were only 10 dollars a pair, so it was worth it. But I still have hopes of getting into that 8 by Christmas... or maybe Valentine's Day is more realistic?

So what do you think? How do I set a specific measurable goal? It isn't like I can go try on jeans every Friday and see if I fit into the right size yet... I need something for daily accountability that I can see in order to keep me motivated. Should I just stick to weight and hope it affects everything? I could set an exercise goal that targets specific areas, but that won't tell me my progress or when I've 'arrived'. What have you done? Suggestions anyone? I've got to ride the momentum while I've got it!