Allans Visit #3 Appliances Nightmare

Wouldn't you know, when one appliance breaks, they all follow suit. When it rains it pours, I guess.

Our fridge had been on the fritz for a while, leaking and stuff. Maintenance had been out to look at it and said they'd get back to us on what might be the problem. Well, Saturday morning we woke up and opened the door... and discovered the fridge must have finally bit the dust completely because it was no longer cool inside. We emailed maintenance, pulled out an ice chest and some ice, and deposited all extremely perishable items inside, leaving the condiments in the fridge.

No big deal. Under control.

That afternoon, during lunch preparations (remember I was hosting 3 extra adults and of course wanted to put on something delectable and special for the occasion), I began an oven preheat for our Sweet Potato fries. And suddenly, sparks started to shoot out from under the oven door accompanied with fire cracker sound effects. My mom and I were the only ones in the kitchen at the time and we both squealed. Turns out the filament burnt out. Can't use the oven for fries or pineapple. Luckily, our neighbors were kind enough to lend us the use of their oven for the fries and the broiled pineapple. Also, luckily, our stove still worked so we could pan fry our Teriyaki steaks. For a moment there was a scare because the burner wasn't getting warm, but then Eric thought to check the breaker, and sure enough the oven burn out had kicked it off. Reset, no problem. And suddenly we were extremely grateful for the functioning stove. Plan B without an oven would have been to fire up the charcoal grill. So, I began the somewhat ridiculous process of walking between our house and our neighbors to stir, flip, adjust temperatures, rotate, season, etc, etc, with Eric spearheading the cooking at our place.

No big deal. Under control.

During the final 20 minutes of lunch prep, when some things are at the ready to eat stage and we were trying not to let anything burn or get cold while the rest finished up, maintenance showed up at our back door with a temporary replacement fridge to hold us over until Monday when our new one would arrive. So, while trying not to let things burn, shuttling back and forth between our kitchen and the Harris's kitchen to check on the sweet potato fries, trying to make the Pineapple ice cream shakes before the ice cream melted completely, etc... we had to empty the rest of our fridge and freezer, deposit everything on the non-existent counter space, quickly spot-clean the nastiness that was revealed to have been hiding under the fridge, and keep out of the way of the crew moving things around. It was pure craziness.

No big deal. Under control.

Thankfully:

• when the fridge went out, we hadn't gone grocery shopping yet. If we had, we wouldn't have been able to fit all the perishables in the ice chest.
• since we were eating in the living room anyway, there was no rush to try to clear EVERYTHING off the table right away. Since it was piled high with all the contents of our broken fridge--and the temp one was significantly smaller--trying to put everything away was kind of time-consuming. We could eat and then get to it.
• our neighbors let us use their oven. repeatedly. even when they had to run to the store, they trusted me to go on in.
• we got a temp fridge. and then we got a new fridge!
• the stove still worked.
• and perhaps the biggest one of all: Caroline slept til right after all the craziness was over. Can you imagine if I'd had to stop right in the middle to nurse a hungry, crying baby? Oh man, I shiver just to think of it!

Appliance Nightmare? No big deal. Under control. :)

I have a success story so I can divulge a secret!

I received a communication today. It said this:

"Congratulations! Your application for admission to the Humanities Master of Arts degree program has been approved. We are happy to welcome you and wish you the best in your future work."

That's right folks! It is official! I am going back to school for my Masters degree!
I will be studying through the
California State Dominguez Hills
distance learning program (HUX).
Why am I excited about this opportunity?

• first of all, who ISN'T excited about studying art, music, literature, history, and philosophy? I LOVE the humanities!
  
• short term goal: I'll be qualified to teach humanities and art history at a community college
• the above goal is desirable for both fun/personal fulfillment and for preparedness. It was a harsh reality when I couldn't find ANY full time job 2 years ago despite my 2 majors and years of experience
• distance learning means I'll be free to set my own hours, my own pace, my own homework schedule.
• best part is that the coursework isn't online (though resources are if I need to contact anyone quickly). I won't be glued to a computer, with all the eye and back trouble that accompany it. I can sit in a comfortable chair and read.
  
• I'll be working from home, around Gwen's nap schedule, with some Saturdays to spend in OSU's library on research.
  
• I estimate only 10-12 hours a week for school work.
  
• entire program is only 35 credits, about 2 years to a degree (not counting any time I end up taking off for baby #2)
• The program is very flexible and family-oriented, so deferring or taking breaks for important events like babies or moving won't be a huge paperwork fiasco.
  
• interesting coursework with fun classes on Mayan art history, female literature around the world, etc.
• The program design gives a broad/general base in 5 distinct humanities fields (literature, philosophy, music, art, history) but allows for specific specialization in one or two as well.
  
• I can emphasize 18 hours in Art History which more than doubles my chances of being hired as a professor at a community college post graduation
  
• I can design some of my own credits/coursework to be Asian specific if I desire (which, of course, I do!)
• the above bullet helps keep me "in the know" for my long term goal: after the kids are grown, get a PhD in Asian Art History or Asian Humanities with Korean emphasis
• There are no tests. Every grade is based on essays and papers. Since writing is my strong point, this is a thrilling prospect!
• entire tuition cost of program: 6,000 dollars! (not counting books or fees, of course) and my Education Grant after my service year in Americorps (at the YWCA) comes to 5,000 dollars... so really, we only have to dish out 500 dollars a year! :)

Well, that is it! Celebrate with me folks! Coursework begins in January!

ps. naturally, there is some apprehension. I will not have as much "free" time to do personal hobbies and projects. I'm sure there will be stressful days. I am trying to think positively, however, and view the blessings and opportunities as what they are: tender mercies from a loving Heavenly Father Who truly answers our prayers.

A Little Perspective

I want to take a moment and give myself some perspective. While the next post is really about a couple wonderful evenings full of fires of one kind or another, I currently feel a little, well, out in the cold. But there is really no reason for dwelling on that. I need to learn from the positive examples of my best friend Jennie and my dear friend Linzi. I need to stop indulging in a good whine and try looking at things with some perspective. So here I go:

• I miss my hubby.... Atleast I HAVE a hubby!
• I feel isolated when he is sitting right here but I can't enjoy his company because he is studying for the Boards. .. How wonderful that he is here, a part of our lives, rather than an absentee father on a regular basis.
• I find myself easily jealous of the attention he gives to anything else, including the news or shooting the breeze on the phone with his brothers, because I want what little of his time there is.... I shouldn't begrudge him those small breaks. After all, Gwen and I go out and do fun things every week and he misses out on everything from the zoo to libraries to movie nights to swimming. Even visiting his own family.
• Sometimes I think I get a glimpse of what being a single mom would be like. and it doesn't seem like fun.... How grateful I am that Eric still takes time for giving lots of love to Gwen (including her nightly bath!) and that this family is still a joint effort. Soon I'll have him back. (until surgery rotation, but we're focusing on the positive here).
• I am growing weary. He's not the only one getting burnt out over this.... Atleast I got a break and had a nice vacation. He has been going straight through. But the end is in sight!
• Sometimes I feel like sitting down and doing nothing: not because there is nothing to do, but because I am just tired of being/doing so much for our family. ... and I am eternally grateful for the unlimited strength of my Savior, Jesus Christ. I am not even in the darkest abyss, there are so many struggling with far more devastating challenges, I have no real room for complaint or cause for Him to rush to my aide... but He does. Every time. He is there for me, buoying me up, sending me friends and family to encourage along the way, and giving me gentle nudges to my spirit reminding me that all is not lost. I just need to trust in His Atonement...

and perhaps gain a little perspective.

Baring my Soul

I used to keep an excellent journal. From Junior High, Highschool, and my first 2 years of college, I was an almost daily diligent writer. Then my mission happened, then 2 majors happened, then Eric happened, then working full time happened, then Gwen happened... and my journal writing has petered off to non-existent because I'm so pooped by the end of the day. So it occurred to me that my blog is a way to recapture that journaling habit. I post daily happenings and experiences. I only need to add some personal soul baring, and it is a bonafied journal. Here's to radical honesty:


I cringe every time I see a photo of myself.

Is that what I really look like? I don't feel that frumpy, but it definitely looks that way.I gained quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy with Gwen. Pretty normal, as far as pregnancies go, but I haven't really lost it. Just redistributed it. And since I was trying to get back in shape when we got pregnant, I have quite a ways to go before hitting my target. I decided during all the Easter festivities that as soon as the holiday was over I would finally go on a healthy diet. True to that commitment, I spent a few hours yesterday researching healthy caloric and nutritive intake levels for lactating women. I talked to friends who have been on successful healthy diets (not just the crash kind) to find out some tips and secrets for lasting motivation and enduring results. And then it really started to sink in.

This is going to be HARD work.

I have a long way to go. We got a scale last week so I've spent the week tracking my daily weight. I hover right around-- am I really about to share this information to the entire online bloggerdom?-- 170 pounds. Since my target is 145 (that's what I weigh when I'm fit and muscular. Without the muscle, it should be even lower for my height.), that is a 25 POUND LOSS! Those aren't going to peel off overnight, folks, or even in a couple of months. We're talking long term commitment if I want to reach this goal. It'll be difficult because:
a) I LOVE food! And gourmet international cooking! To me it sounds like a culinary disaster to replace key flavor ingredients with low/fat free substitutions or to skip those recipes altogether. Who wants to have feijouada without the various fatty meats? What if I want to grill lemon-barbeque pork ribs in the summer? What's a good chowder without cream? I know there are alternatives, but most reduce the flavor and therefore, enjoyment, of the food. I want complete freedom to pursue any recipe I find that sounds delicious, not a stunted range of options. Plus, I love to bake and enjoy cake decorating... how can I not eat it when it is sitting right there? This will be very challenging for me.
b) I am tired. and busy. It will be just too easy to make excuses for skipping my exercise each day.
c) but mostly because I am not sure I can really do it.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I will give in to temptation. I'm afraid I will lack willpower. I'm afraid I'll tire of healthy menus and snacks and indulge a little too often in a non-healthy recipe. I'm afraid there will be holidays, birthdays, and special social events that threaten my consistency. I'm afraid the weight will be stubborn in coming off. I'm afraid I'll compare myself to other, more successful postpartum moms. I'm afraid I will become frustrated. I'm afraid I will lose motivation after a short 2 weeks. I'm afraid I will fall terribly short of my goal. I'm afraid I will never feel confident about my figure again. I'm afraid I will never feel satisfied looking in the mirror again. I'm afraid of giving up and consigning myself to frumpdom for the rest of my life. I'm afraid I am not going to be able to do this. I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to stick it out to the end of my goal. I'm afraid of failure.

*sigh*. I know I can't have faith and fear at the same time. All things are possible if we put our faith in Christ. Funny to think that my diet matters to Him. "Fear not; Only believe"

I can't really ask you to pray for me and my 'diet' because that just sounds like a really shallow prayer. But if it occurs to you sometime in the next 6 months to pray for me to stick to my nutritional plan, I would be really grateful. I need all the support I can get. My plea is the same as the father who brought his sick daughter to Christ for healing and needed help doing his part:

"Lord, help Thou mine unbelief".

Thanks for letting me bare my soul.

Leavin on a Jet Plane!!!

Here we go again, folks! I must say that I'm less rose-colored-glasses about the flight this time around. Last time just wasn't that fun. Can't say I'm really too excited about it. Excited about the destination in Idaho, yes. Visiting grandparents with Gwen, oh yeah. Spring break in general and getting to hang out with Eric no test-strings attached, no question! But towing along a 4 1/2 month old who is just starting to get the hang of a nap and bed time routine and doesn't like slight disruptions in her groove... doesn't really strike me as an adventure this time around. At least Eric will be with me this time. He's so much better at handling that kind of stress. Maybe I just need to work on my positive thinking. "no blowouts... no blowouts... no blowouts..."

And I need to pack. and do the cloth diaper laundry. and the regular laundry so we have clothes to put in those suitcases. And take books back to the library. And clean the toilets. And do the dishes. and why am I writing this post again? ;)

wish us luck with tomorrow's flight!

The Bad and The Good

Bad News: The distance from one end of the Chicago airport to the other is long when you're carrying a getting-heavy baby in your arms.
Good News: I'm buff. We made it. ;)

Bad News: Gwen had a 4-direction blowout ON the plane ride from Chicago to Tulsa (out both legs, front, and back!)
Good News: the kind gentleman in the seat next to me said he wanted to stretch his legs... and let me change her in his seat.

Bad News: The rest of the plane hated me because Gwen was so fussy, stinky, and poopy all over.
Good News: I'll probably never see any of them ever again.

Bad News: My parents were sick when I got there.
Good News: I got to relax and watch HGTV, History channel, and food network... something I really enjoyed since we don't have a tv in Ohio!

Bad News: I attended an excruciating workout that left my muscles absolutely UNRESPONSIVE for 2 days. I'm not kidding, I couldn't sit, stand, kneel, or lift my legs to put on my socks without assistance!
Good News: What a great work out! and my folks let me soak in their jacuzzi.

Bad News: Gwen and I got really sick too: fever, sinus infection, ear infection, and lost voice.
Good News: I was still able to go to the Saturday luncheon musical production of the Ten Virgins in which my sister was singing, see my bff Jennie and her baby, and enjoy the gorgeous 80 degree weather.

Bad News: None of my friends except my dear best friend Jennie ever contacted me to get together.
Good News: I didn't have to try to look presentable in something other than pjs or act energetic in my sickie state.

Bad News: Visiting the doctor on vacation always stinks.
Good News: I got a prescription for some antibiotics that are sure to help me feel better! Plus we have great insurance that had only a 35 dollar copay for appointment and drugs!

Bad News: 35 dollar copay wasn't in the budget for the trip.
Good News: My mom generously covered the tab.

Bad News: apparently antihistamines and decongestants also dry up breast milk...
Good News: We caught it in time to prevent SERIOUS trouble! and thank you Tamara for letting me borrow your excellent pump!

Bad News: Since Gwen was sick, she was very needy and I didn't have the energy to take care of her.
Good News: Grandma, Grandpa, and an umbrella stroller. Nuf said.

Bad News: Gwen's photos for her 4 month mark can't upload from my mom's camera to her computer because it is so outdated.
Good News: My mom took THE cutest picture of Gwen EVER and I can't wait to share it with all of you!

Bad News: I was sick for our family Sushi party at my sister's house.
Good News: I didn't have to "contaminate" any food or utensils by contributing my hand to chopping veggies... and just got to enjoy all the deliciousness!

Bad News: Flight delayed out of Tulsa put us in Chicago late and we had to cross the entire airport to make our next flight...
Good News: The umbrella stroller made running with Gwen and carry on bag a piece of cake. I was sweaty, but we made it.

Bad News: Gwen peed in her outfit and I only had a onesie to changer her into so her legs were exposed through the entire return trip.
Good News: Everybody still thought she was adorable, I had a nice warm blanket to wrap her legs in, and she was beautifully compliant on both flights thanks to baby tylenol!

Bad News: Gwen misses Grandma and Grandpa already!
Good News: We finally got to see Daddy/Eric again!... and we're already trying to find time for another trip!