Vice and Virtue

A quote from Friedman essay about literature, but with much greater application:

"Its vices are the defects of its virtues"

This really resonated with me. Does it ring true for you?

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  The unmotivated/unambitious vices are usually paired with the virtue of being easy going and not a worry wart.


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  The vice of being high-strung, inflexible, rigid usually goes with the virtue of being organized, planning ahead, detail-oriented.


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  The vice of being sensitive, easily hurt, emotional goes with the virtue of being empathetic, caring deeply, feeling freely.


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  The vice of being hasty, blindly jumping into things, rash goes with the virtue of being a risk-taker, brave, fearless, spontaneous, eager to see an idea to fruition.


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  The vice of timidity, inaction, lost opportunities accompanies the virtue of caution, careful research, and logical analysis before decision-making.


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  The vice of shirking work, avoiding responsibility, being light-minded, shallow, cliqueish usually goes with the virtue of being social, fun, energetic, friendly, talkative.


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  The vice of eating too much with the virtue of appreciating delicious food, being able to create delicious food.


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  The vice of laziness with the virtue of restfulness or playfulness.


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  The vice of work-a-holic, busy, forget-the-real-meaning-of-things person with the virtue of hardworking provider, ambition.


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  The vice of pack rat with the virtue of valuing memories.

I am a planner, a culinary artist, empathetic, ambitious, memory lover. Now you know all my vices too. :)

I think that when the Savior promises all our weaknesses can become strengths through His Atonement, it does not mean he will root out of us those innate characteristics so that we can no longer recognize ourselves. He will simply help us to transform them over to the virtuous side of them. We will still be ourselves, but our best selves.

So I Thought I Could Dance

Sometimes I think I can dance like this: Until the weather turns so nasty I am forced to switch to indoor workouts (and I don't have a gym membership) so I check out a new hip hop dance workout DVD from the library...

and then I realize...

I really dance like this:

Or Heaven forbid... like THIS:

Obviously, I've got some

delusions of coordination

to get over....

Or perhaps I'll just get a new workout video.

Life's Lessons #4: Wait Your Turn

We all have pet peeves, right? I'm about to expound upon one of my big ones: when people don't wait their turn. When I originally composed this, I was quite scathing. I have since repented of my "venom" and decided I need to be more charitable. Either way, I must acknowledge that respectfully waiting in line is a dying "art" or "lesser virtue" in life that I think the world could use more of (that is poor grammar, but you know what I mean).

You've seen it happen. You're driving along and someone speeds ahead to slide right in front of you at the light. Woohoo. Good for you. You now have a 2 second head start on me. Good thing you managed to get in front.
Or here's another one: you wait patiently at the zoo to see "X" animal. Just before you get there, someone has to zip in front of you to plant themselves right in front of your view (small children I can tolerate doing this. But adults with strollers? Come on).
Or here's another one: you're waiting to pick up a prescription at Kroger's. The line is pretty non-descript. More of a huddle, actually, but everyone there knows who is next. You. Everyone knows, that is, except one guy. Right when it should be your turn, the pharmacist calls out "can I help who's next?", you lean forward on the balls of your feet to take a step to the counter, and some wise guy pops out from behind an aisle and speeds up to the counter with a desperate pharmacological need that somehow trumps yours.

Waiting to talk to the lady at the airport? Waiting for the hose at the community garden? No matter where you are, there's bound to be someone who doesn't think they need to wait their turn. Is it just me, or does the squeaky wheel REALLY need all that grease right now? Come on, why can't the patient person be rewarded for their patience every once and awhile? (this coming from someone-- me-- who is definitely NOT patient and therefore thinks that any excruciating efforts in that direction ought to be applauded, not walked on.)

You know what the pet peeve is really all about? People thinking they are the exception to the rule, that they don't need to wait in line like everybody else but can cut. People that think they are somehow special, above fences and sidewalks that think they can make their own path through a gap in the fence and go tromping around on the lawn as a short cut to beat the crowd to the park entrance rather than be put out to have to shuffle in line down the side walk like civilized human beings. Who do they think they are?

What do I think is the solution? Take a number, just like at the DMV and Joann's. and build better fences, I guess.

Or actually, what we could use is a little respect and consideration.

Hike

The cabin is in National Forest, so there were lots of trails and opportunities for adventure. As you can see, Gwen wasn't especially excited about our hike up the mountain. She rarely graced us with a smile and kind of growled into her binkie the entire hike up.Even Grandma braved the outdoors...wearing nothing less than a black turtleneck sweater. I'll bet she was warm.
We stopped for some shade and water. Mama Allan got her hat decorated.
Gwen continued to growl...
and Jan joined her in English. (Imagine her mouthing something like "can we go home now?" and you've pretty much captured her sentiment in this picture. She doesn't like to get sweaty and only came to be supportive of the family adventure. And maybe because Evan pushed her into it.)
Lots of moisture on and around the trail. We split up after another good distance up the mountain. Gwen and I continued on with the boys while Elise, Jan, Mama and Grandma went back to fix up lunch. Gwen continued to growl...
The view from the trail. My camera only took 2 more pictures after this before it died. The battery was running really low, that is why it is blurry. Sorry. Try to imagine.

And then also feel free to imagine a baby Gwen growling all the way back down (now on Papa Allan's back. Carrying a baby up a mountain was harder than you might think!). About 5 minutes from the end of the trail, she fell asleep in the carrier. Her head was flopped backwards and her bow had slipped to shield her eyes from the sun. Very amusing and quite cute. Evan took a picture with his camera since mine was dead, but it wasn't digital and I may not get a copy for a while (let alone scanned into the computer), so you'll just have to imagine. I'm asking a lot of your imagination today, aren't I? :) It was a great hike!

Life's Lesson #2: Ask Forgiveness--Even If They Did Greater Injury

Second installment of the "lesser appreciated virtues".

#2 Ask Forgiveness- Even if They Did the Greater Injury to You

Young teenage girls have the ability to be more malicious and just plain mean than any other group of people (not counting criminals or terrorists, of course). Maybe you've been victim to the pack mentality before. I think most girls have been at one time. It is a vicious world in which you either perpetrate meanness or are the recipient of it. Unless of course you are more mature than the rest of the pack and can rise above all that. Unfortunately, I was not one of those amazing people.

I was the victim. All the time. From 5th grade to 7th grade, that was me. I don't need to tell you about the emotional damage these years wailed on my self esteem. I don't need to tell you about how little confidence I had or how I hid it with all my success in academics, music, and sports. By the time I had a group of friends in church who were so trendy and cool... and yet considered me part of the group, I was pretty much ready to follow their lead. Whatever it took to remain in good graces. Unfortunately, they chose another girl in our Young Women's class-- someone who just the year before had been 1 of 3 whom I invited to spend the night for my birthday-- to mercilessly mock. Not 'in-your-face' kind of teasing, but the oblique and yet oh-so-obvious whispering about her while she was in the same room with us, gossiping about her clothes or hair or whatever, and making snide remarks under our breaths whenever she answered a question. I joined in. Better her than me. That was my thinking. Where was loyalty? Where were courage and honor? Not anywhere to be found.

It wore on me. It did. But I kept at it. One night, after a particularly brutal mutual activity in which we sort of trailed her through the church (subtly, of course) snickering the whole time... I got an unexpected phone call. It was her.
I thought she was going to tell me off. I knew I had it coming. But I walled up my feelings and snuffed out my conscience by somehow convincing myself she deserved it and I was justified. I prepared myself for some snotty comebacks.

and I was completely caught off guard when she began to apologize.

She said she was sorry for whatever she had done to upset or hurt us, specifically me, and asked for forgiveness. You might think that I was woman enough to apologize back at this point. But to my everlasting shame, I added insult to injury by firing off those snotty comments and telling her she deserved every bit of it. I could tell she was crying, but that only made me feel worse so I had to act worse to bury those feelings. I kept up my haughtiness until she humbly apologized once more and our conversation ended. That was that. I was a monster.

But that humble request for forgiveness when absolutely none was merited snuck through my facade of sarcasm and pricked my numbed conscience back to life. I am glad to say I began to repent. It was my first real experience with godly sorrow and wading through the process to real forgiveness. I ended up having to break bonds with that group of girls... I did bear the consequences for that... but years later that humble girl would become my very best friend. Jennie Smith. Now a Hubbard. I respect her so much for the example she has always shown me. She's always been a cut above the rest of us, always already emulating the qualities to which I'm aspiring. And it all started when she was Christlike enough to ask my forgiveness... even when I had committed the injury.

Reasons for Respect

Normally my posts are all about our family and our isms. But the past couple of days, what with Martin Luther King Jr. Day and then the Presidential Inauguration, I have been rather pensive and contemplative. I feel that a 'serious' post is in order.

Martin Luther King Jr. is a great example of peaceful objection, protest without violence. Disagreement without disrespect. When others thought his methods would never work and pressed for more aggressive action, his humble but persistent stance of non-violent protest eventually wore down the resolve of his opposition and broke the walls preventing equality for blacks in our country. Why do I respect him? Because of his love for his people, yes. Because of his leadership, yes. Because of his courage, yes. Because of his rhetoric and persuasive power, yes. But really, I respect him most for the respect he gave others even while respect was denied to him. That is powerful. Respect for humanity regardless of differences.

Many people criticize and blame George W. Bush for the troubles of our nation. They cast blame, point fingers, mock, and are angry to the point of forgetting themselves. Forgetting the respect deserved by the Presidential mantle. Forgetting the respect deserved for serving our country to the best of one's ability. ...Forgetting the respect deserved by every individual as a child of God.

Well today (or yesterday, actually) we usher in a new President. A President wildly popular and with so much enthusiasm backing his new era that it is hard to imagine anyone criticizing him to the extent that Bush was criticized. I respect President Obama for many reasons: his charisma, his persuasive power, his compassion, his realism, his vision, his experiences so different from mine, his willingness to listen to reason, his ability to inspire, his ability to soothe and make people feel comfortable, and his touchableness--the way people feel like they can relate to him. And yet, I did not vote for him. We disagree on too many policy issues.

But, does disagreement EVER give one the right to defame or belittle? Does disagreement give me the right to make nasty videos, compose angry songs, or - heaven forbid- throw my shoe at the man? Absolutely NOT. Neither will I ever cast my opposition to policy or decisions as opposition to President Obama himself. He is a man. Capable of great good and capable of great harm. Human and imperfect, so deserving of tolerance, patience, and forgiveness. Son of God, so deserving of mercy, respect, and love. If the time comes, I pledge to disagree without disrespect.

I treasure our country. I am so proud to be an American. I am proud of the progress that our nation has made. I feel humbled and grateful to live in the great nation that we do. I have hope for the future.

Ever Realize How Much You Depend on Electricity?

Well, for those of you IN Ohio, you all are probably tiring of the "big storm that hit us" blog posts. Sorry. Mine won't be extremely creative either. Let's just say Eric and I were really fine with the resulting week of no electricity. Really. We were so well taken care of by friends with power, it is very humbling. I think there is no more appropriate way to comment on the experience than to publicly thank each one of you.
Thank you:

• Thanks to Brianna and Justin for feeding us delicious grilled pork with strawberry sauce! I DO want the recipe!
  
• Thanks to Nancy and Jarin for a) feeding me such a healthy lunch, b) helping me for 12+ hours to can all the poultry meat that had thawed from our freezer, c) feeding us dinner, and d) giving us a key so we could take hot showers on Sunday!
• Thanks to Heather and Ryan for the absolutely delicious spaghetti dinner and the fun entertainment with friends and LIGHTS!
• Thanks to Marie and Kurt for feeding us yummy chicken fajitas and soft brownies!
• Thanks to Joe and Megan for a) storing our deep freeze in their apartment (along with the freezers of other people without power!), b) feeding us chicken sandwich and salad lunch, and c) keeping some perishable groceries in their fridge... mostly because I dislike warm liquids so much! :)
• Thanks to Everybody else who invited us for food but we had to turn down because we were already eating somewhere else! Also for all the hot shower offers... you guys are all AWESOME!!!
• Thanks also to the ward for being "Inspired" to have the barbeque while we still didn't have power. The food was great, and it was extra motivation for our neighbors to come since they still didn't have power either!
• Thanks to Mama and Papa Allan for giving us such a wonderful Christmas present last year of a Coleman Stove and lantern... we cooked on it Sunday night and were lucky to not have the dilemma of many others: we had both the food storage AND the means with which to cook it. Atleast it worked for one big meal.
  
• Thanks to Julie and Robin and Jenni and Vaughn for sharing our "trial" with us... it helped me keep my own thoughts positive when I saw how smiley you all were every day! Our daily walks reminded me that we weren't alone without power. Especially kudos to Julie and Robin for taking care of Eliza without electricity! Diaper changing in the middle of the night with a flashlight and being forced to use hand-washed burp rags because newborns have no concept of convenience really kept me grateful for our gal's current still-in-the-womb status!
  
• Thanks to the power company crew members... I was so happy to see them on Sunday! I know it must have been hard for them and their families to have to work around the clock like they did. I'm glad they were willing to sacrifice so that we could get our power back.
  
• Thanks to my dear Eric for his positive attitude, lack of complaining, and reasonable nature. He kept everything in perspective and we still had fun in the evenings, despite lack of electricity! He also reminded me to drink fluids, recharged my phone on campus, took care of our fish, moved the deep freeze (with help), and suffered through daily cold showers in the dark without a word of complaint. What a stallion! :)
  
• Thank you to Heavenly Father for making the weather so agreeable. We had overcast days and cool breezes... I hardly even noticed the lack of air conditioning! :)

All in all, I'd say we are better off for the experience! I learned how to pressure can poultry, how to roast a duck, had time to organize some closet space, and have been given a VERY good excuse to finally clean out the fridge! What an experience, eh? Thanks to ALL of YOU!!!!