Friday, September 30, 2016

Premature Anxiety--- When Being Organized Can Backfire

I'm an organized person. I make and follow through on lists, charts, clearly defined goals, etc. I consider this a strength as I manage my household, multiple daily schedules, projects, and teaching (my own children being my current focus). I always know what is for dinner, my kids Halloween costumes are half-way completed, and I've got Gwen's piano lessons sketched out through May. But I think the 'planner' gene backfires when it comes to big, life-changing events. Like moving. Where my easy-going-never-plan-anything husband is baffled that I'm even thinking about it yet, I am starting to get moving anxiety! How come I am already feeling this... irritation?...from an event that won't occur for another 10 months? Nearly a full year away, and yet already my mind is cranking out insomnia-inducing lists of things to get done, I'm feeling pressure to start packing, and worrying about all the details!
 Naturally, I'm trying to manage my tendencies by starting early, sorting and decluttering now, finishing projects and such that will clear out my over-loaded-mental-to-do-list.... but it doesn't seem to be enough to assuage the anxiety. It helps to know I won't be 'wasting' things by being rushed into just getting rid of supplies or items I would rather see put to use. So my project to-do list is quite lengthy right now. Everything from Christmas present-making, to clothing items for my kids (that will become Christmas presents by default), to a project my mom commissioned me to do before our family reunion in the summer (which coincides dangerously close to the move and I therefore need to get all of the sewing finished sooner rather than later).
and so is my list of household/furniture/yard work/kid items for which I've got to find homes. 
and my list of projects to finish up around the house like painting, re-do grout, replace broken tiles, replace old boards on the deck and refinish, clear up and beautify flower beds, re-do retaining 'wall' in the front, and deep clean everywhere! 
and my list of things to start packing up as soon as I possibly can. 
I have to admit, it is completely irrational to stress about it NOW when there is still plenty of time and as my dear husband regularly reminds me, "worrying doesn't help at all anyway"...I stumbled across this little quote and thought it sounded like me right now. 

yup.  I am feeling a little slimy and toxic blob of mental unpleasantness with me all day every day. 

Irrational? Absolutely. 

But it is persistent and only seems to be increasing with the approaching holidays. I know I need to stop stressing and just take things one step at a time... but when the WHOLE PILE is on my mind ALL THE TIME, it feels like I'll crack before the 'one thing at a time' rule adds up to much relief.

Seriously, it is all mental. All. Because my daily tasks are more than manageable and my time is well-balanced and each day is truly happy with my family. But the mental burden is not dissipating. I have to wonder if I'll get any peace of mind until everything is packed (or maybe unpacked?)... 

sounds like it could be a 'mental-blob' next 10 months! lol!


  1. I totally do this, maybe not to the depth and breadth that you do it. But the consistent mental exercise is still quite present.
    I wish a mental break to you.

  2. It'll be fine. We've got like a million time left before we have to be ready to go. No sweat.