Premature Anxiety--- When Being Organized Can Backfire

I'm an organized person. I make and follow through on lists, charts, clearly defined goals, etc. I consider this a strength as I manage my household, multiple daily schedules, projects, and teaching (my own children being my current focus). I always know what is for dinner, my kids Halloween costumes are half-way completed, and I've got Gwen's piano lessons sketched out through May. But I think the 'planner' gene backfires when it comes to big, life-changing events. Like moving. Where my easy-going-never-plan-anything husband is baffled that I'm even thinking about it yet, I am starting to get moving anxiety! How come I am already feeling this... irritation?...from an event that won't occur for another 10 months? Nearly a full year away, and yet already my mind is cranking out insomnia-inducing lists of things to get done, I'm feeling pressure to start packing, and worrying about all the details!

 Naturally, I'm trying to manage my tendencies by starting early, sorting and decluttering now, finishing projects and such that will clear out my over-loaded-mental-to-do-list.... but it doesn't seem to be enough to assuage the anxiety. It helps to know I won't be 'wasting' things by being rushed into just getting rid of supplies or items I would rather see put to use. So my project to-do list is quite lengthy right now. Everything from Christmas present-making, to clothing items for my kids (that will become Christmas presents by default), to a project my mom commissioned me to do before our family reunion in the summer (which coincides dangerously close to the move and I therefore need to get all of the sewing finished sooner rather than later).

and so is my list of household/furniture/yard work/kid items for which I've got to find homes. 

and my list of projects to finish up around the house like painting, re-do grout, replace broken tiles, replace old boards on the deck and refinish, clear up and beautify flower beds, re-do retaining 'wall' in the front, and deep clean everywhere! 

and my list of things to start packing up as soon as I possibly can. 

I have to admit, it is completely irrational to stress about it NOW when there is still plenty of time and as my dear husband regularly reminds me, "worrying doesn't help at all anyway"...I stumbled across this little quote and thought it sounded like me right now. 

"the rapid dismantling of a carefully ordered space, the tiring physical work, the sudden change to a new environment, and the need to make important decisions on a moment-to-moment basis all combine, like the symbiotic organisms that cohabitate as a Portuguese man o’ war jellyfish, creating a slimy toxic blob of mental unpleasantness."

yup.  I am feeling a little slimy and toxic blob of mental unpleasantness with me all day every day. 

Irrational? Absolutely. 

But it is persistent and only seems to be increasing with the approaching holidays. I know I need to stop stressing and just take things one step at a time... but when the WHOLE PILE is on my mind ALL THE TIME, it feels like I'll crack before the 'one thing at a time' rule adds up to much relief.

Seriously, it is all mental. All. Because my daily tasks are more than manageable and my time is well-balanced and each day is truly happy with my family. But the mental burden is not dissipating. I have to wonder if I'll get any peace of mind until everything is packed (or maybe unpacked?)... 

sounds like it could be a 'mental-blob' next 10 months! lol!

A wee bit overwhelmed (this might qualify as a complaining post--you are warned)

Do you ever feel compelled to make a post JUST to get comments and feel connected to the world? I suppose that is this post. I don't have any pictures or videos. I don't even have any exciting news. I just feel... a little overwhelmed with all that is on my plate right now... and why does that make me take time out from what I NEED to be doing to blog? I don't know. Post-poning the inevitable escapism? Giving myself a short mental break? (which this isn't really doing, in all honesty.) I feel like I need to talk, but I have a cold and I talked too much yesterday and now I don't ACTUALLY want to talk to anyone because my throat hurts, but I want to talk...see my dilemma?

I made a big oops on my computer yesterday afternoon and failed to save my week-long progress on my paper. All of this week's efforts are gone. have to start over. Not even an auto-save to recover. believe me, we looked. SOOOOO demoralizing. And frustrating. and I'm soooo mad at myself because I KNOW to be more careful. And now I've got to put in double time because the paper is due next Friday. I wouldn't have to rush if I'd saved properly.

and I'm sick. and tired. and I feel lousy. and maybe just a teensy bit grouchy, can ya tell?. :)

and I've got these weight loss goals that I REALLY want to achieve, but I'm too tired bc of being sick to work out like normal this week. and too mentally tired to be as disciplined as I need to be. and, if I'm honest about what I've got cut out for me next week homework-wise, I need to cut back next week too so I have energy for finishing this paper. So I feel torn between two goals that are very important to me: school and fitness. and I'm annoyed that I even have to make this choice (annoyed at both my computer-oops AND my cold).

and we're in the process of trying to take care of some financial-loan-maybe-we'll-get-a-house kind of things, which is just one more thing to keep me awake at night stewing (as if the non-drowsy decongestant wasn't enough to keep this already-confessed-insomniac awake at night), so I'm definitely not getting enough sleep.

and we're having friends over for dinner tonight. This is a reschedule because last month the girls had the flu. I don't want to have to cancel again, especially because of a stupid cold, so I'm just powering through all the food and cleaning prep. But I'm so tired already--and it is only 9:45 in the morning--and I know it will take energy to be excited and chatty and a good hostess in general. and I'm just a little overwhelmed by all the preparation (we're having Mexican fajitas and I've got to make flan and slice all those peppers and cook Spanish rice etc etc etc) and entertaining today. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have my friends over... but I just don't want the work that comes with it. At least not today.

and I'm just kind of overwhelmed with it all and want to cry sometimes but even that takes too much energy plus it makes my congestion worse. Sigh.

Thanks for listening. Just one of those days, I guess.

Welcome 2011...and I'm already stressing?

I am a planner. I spent Christmas vacation reading textbooks for this coming trimester so I can have a head start and finish early. Last night I got online to see if the professors for my 2 classes this trimester have posted welcome letters and schedules. They have. And both also added required reading that WASN'T on the syllabi from last semester. That is perfectly within their rights, since classes don't start until the 8th, but since I was going off of the required reading already posted to try to "GET AHEAD" and complete all the course work early-- i.e. BEFORE baby comes in early April-- having those extra reading assignments kinda stresses me out.

So I did what I do best and got out my calendar and scheduled out what I have to read every night to complete the coursework a month ahead of time... and something about having all those books and articles glaring at me from my planner for the next 3 months just stressed me out even further rather than becoming a comfort. If I drop a class, I can't take it again until next year. That will set me behind in my graduation goal and mean I'll still be in school when we add a third child-- which could push graduation back an entire year if I have to take off more for first trimester woes. So I can either take both classes now and be kind of overwhelmed for the next 3 months while in my third trimester and possibly have to settle for B's instead of A's, or I can push my entire graduation back a whole year and be juggling larger family responsibilities (i.e. another child) with writing and defending a Thesis. Ugh.

What would YOU do?