Friday, February 24, 2012

A wee bit overwhelmed (this might qualify as a complaining post--you are warned)

Do you ever feel compelled to make a post JUST to get comments and feel connected to the world? I suppose that is this post. I don't have any pictures or videos. I don't even have any exciting news. I just feel... a little overwhelmed with all that is on my plate right now... and why does that make me take time out from what I NEED to be doing to blog? I don't know. Post-poning the inevitable escapism? Giving myself a short mental break? (which this isn't really doing, in all honesty.) I feel like I need to talk, but I have a cold and I talked too much yesterday and now I don't ACTUALLY want to talk to anyone because my throat hurts, but I want to talk...see my dilemma?

I made a big oops on my computer yesterday afternoon and failed to save my week-long progress on my paper. All of this week's efforts are gone. have to start over. Not even an auto-save to recover. believe me, we looked. SOOOOO demoralizing. And frustrating. and I'm soooo mad at myself because I KNOW to be more careful. And now I've got to put in double time because the paper is due next Friday. I wouldn't have to rush if I'd saved properly.

and I'm sick. and tired. and I feel lousy. and maybe just a teensy bit grouchy, can ya tell?. :)

and I've got these weight loss goals that I REALLY want to achieve, but I'm too tired bc of being sick to work out like normal this week. and too mentally tired to be as disciplined as I need to be. and, if I'm honest about what I've got cut out for me next week homework-wise, I need to cut back next week too so I have energy for finishing this paper. So I feel torn between two goals that are very important to me: school and fitness. and I'm annoyed that I even have to make this choice (annoyed at both my computer-oops AND my cold).

and we're in the process of trying to take care of some financial-loan-maybe-we'll-get-a-house kind of things, which is just one more thing to keep me awake at night stewing (as if the non-drowsy decongestant wasn't enough to keep this already-confessed-insomniac awake at night), so I'm definitely not getting enough sleep.

and we're having friends over for dinner tonight. This is a reschedule because last month the girls had the flu. I don't want to have to cancel again, especially because of a stupid cold, so I'm just powering through all the food and cleaning prep. But I'm so tired already--and it is only 9:45 in the morning--and I know it will take energy to be excited and chatty and a good hostess in general. and I'm just a little overwhelmed by all the preparation (we're having Mexican fajitas and I've got to make flan and slice all those peppers and cook Spanish rice etc etc etc) and entertaining today. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to have my friends over... but I just don't want the work that comes with it. At least not today.

and I'm just kind of overwhelmed with it all and want to cry sometimes but even that takes too much energy plus it makes my congestion worse. Sigh.

Thanks for listening. Just one of those days, I guess.


  1. 1) Decongestant is the WORST best invention ever. I also had a cold this week and couldn't sleep because I couldn't breathe and then because I could, thanks to those lousy pills. Argh! 2)I totally feel what you're describing sometimes and it stinks. Sorry that you're there now. 3) Don't feel bad about putting your school goal temporarily above your weight goal. School comes with automatic time constraints that healthy living doesn't and you shouldn't feel guilty about that because it's out of your control. You're a gorgeous lady and you'll get back on track if you can just be a little patient with yourself in the meantime. 4) I still believe that technology is out to get me 98% of the time. Perhaps it got you this time because you're associated through it with me. For your own safety and to prevent further ticking off the technology dieties, you should probably delete this comment and pretend you don't know me.

    Good luck. It will get better.

  2. 1--Cut yourself a break.
    2--Play the "what if" game. What if you cancelled again? End of the world as we know it? Probably not.
    3--Prioritize and drop some stuff until you feel better
    4--You don't have to do everything all the time.
    5--Take a nap.
    6--I love you, and you're doing great! :)

  3. I have zero advice for you. All I can say is I'm sorry. I also admire you for all these very big goals you are trying to achieve. Being sick is very hard. No fun at all. My heart goes out to you!

  4. Oh my heart goes out to you because I completely know how awful it is to be sick when life has to keep going and you don't have time to just lay low. And that feeling of just wanting to cry seems to just hover for a while, and it's hard to figure out how to shake it off. You are a rockstar Elisa, and such an amazing woman. I was thinking about you yesterday, when thinking about VT and how you were always able to ask really personal questions that led into crazy good discussions either of the lesson or other gospel principles in our lives. I REALLY miss you too, and fully encourage you looking at vacation pictures in NC! You don't have to stay anywhere fancy - stay with US and save money! Then we can do fun day trips to places and see those beautiful places without having to fork over the dough. Oh man it would feel so rejuvenating and refreshing to see you. Love you!!

  5. Look inward.
    Drop what you can.
    You're amazing.

  6. I totally understand needing to feel connected to the world. Thank you for the post to "talk" with me, because I would have called you otherwise; so now I won't. But know that I was thinking about it and thinking about you! You're great; don't get too down on yourself for not being able to do it all at once. One day at a time; one step at a time. You've got some amazing goals, you've come a long way, you KNOW you'll get there the rest of the way. Just breathe. Justin and I have talked about (dreamed?) that in "our" house we're going to "build" some day we will have a book shelf that is really a door to a secret room. We were trying to figure out what kind of room it would be: a bathroom? no. a closet? not very exciting. would just be my getaway room. Kids wouldn't know about it. I could keep it clean and just go hide if I needed to for a few minutes...a few hours..whatever. So for now, mentally go there. Just for a few minutes. :) Love you!!

  7. Boo. I'm so sorry you are feeling so blah. I have days where all I want to do is lay down and take a nap but there are so many other things that simply have to get done that it's impossible and it puts me in quite a mood. See if you can carve out 20 minutes to rest and be lazy. It makes the rest of the work seem a little easier. Oh and I'm SO sorry about the computer oops. That is the worst. Hang in there. You are doing awesome!!!

  8. bad days are just the worst! at least it helps us be happy for the days that are much better!! hopefully you feel better fast and everything will come together quickly for your lost paper! xoxo

  9. Boyd K. Packer: “It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life” (“That All May Be Edified” [1982], 94).