maple flan recipe and I really love ukiyo-e

If you like custard, you've GOT to try this! You won't believe me until you try it yourself: this flan is really easy and ABSOLUTELY melt-in-your-mouth silky. My first flan and sooooo wonderful!... I'm looking for a holiday that could use a presentation-worthy, rich and fancy dessert like this as a permanent staple and family tradition, it was THAT good!

The original recipe for Rachel's maple flan is here:

http://www.rachaelraymag.com/recipes/rachael-ray-magazine-recipe-search/dessert-recipes/silky-maple-flan

and I finished my paper on Japanese Ukiyo-e... I LOVED it! The images are so compelling... of course, you have to be careful because there is a lot that is inappropriate... but I love Kaigetsudo's courtesans, Harunobu's innocent girls, Hokusai's Great Wave, and of course Hiroshige's landscapes of solitude. Aaaaaah... homework might not always be fun (case in point last Friday when I was totally spazzing), but at least I quite genuinely enjoy the subject matter. That always helps. Here are some of my favorites from this paper:

And now that I'm done, I can just drool over the exquisite images and dream for a trip to the Far East...

Perilous--check this out, folks! It's a Contest!

Hey, I know I've been MIA for awhile. We went down to visit my family in AR and I have SOOOO many photos, I am admittedly daunted by the task of documenting everything. I'll get there, but it may not be awhile. Living in the present trumps uploading pics. Sorry.

But, I DO want to give a shout out to my sister, Tamara, who has a video interview here (not available after today, so don't procrastinate watching!) about her recently published book, Perilous. Check it out! You just might be inspired to purchase a copy for yourself or someone else you love!

and if you DO go and check out the video, leave me a comment about your thoughts on Perilous. There just might be something homemade in it for one of you.... :) (Let me spell it out: I will randomly select one name from the comments I receive to win a homemade prize from me. I will tailor the homemade goodness to you/your family if you win. but there's a catch: I must get at least 5 comments, or the contest is nullified. So spread the word!). don't delay! Check out the video, leave me a comment, tell others, and cross your fingers that you win!

Can You Believe I'm 38 Weeks?

Well, I am. Today. Two weeks from today is my due date. I can hardly believe it. 2 weeks sounds like... any day... ya know? But, I am not predicting anything. I am prepared to go for a couple more weeks.

However, now that I've gotten both papers down to size (though it wouldn't hurt to come back in a few days and reread them just to have a fresh view), I feel comfortable with baby coming any time. After all, even if the papers aren't perfect, I know I can turn them in right now, as is, if necessary and still pull off at least an A- in both classes. And that takes all the stress and pressure off. I feel great. and relaxed.

and, lil girl, you officially have my permission to come any time you would like now. :)

Papers Finished....sort of...

Well, I finished both papers today...

but I suffer from the challenge of being verbose. Both exceed the page limits.

One only by 2 pages, but they are 2 full pages of already well-written and well-thought out points, which will still be challenging to cut back.

The other paper, though, I have currently written 37 pages for a 20 page limit. Hmmmm.... That one is going to be harder to work down. I will be cutting out entire sections, paragraphs, taking the AXE to it... a challenge, for sure, since it isn't just tweaking of sentences or paring down little things.

Then again, sometimes choosing to eliminate entire ideas completely makes for faster editing than the little 'how can I say this more concisely' kind of editing that the first paper will require.

Do any of you other writers out there suffer from my problem? Or is it just me who writes way too much...

The good news is, if I work really hard this week and stay on task, I should be able to get both papers completely edited and turned in by next Saturday... which will give me almost a full week and a half of breathing room before the lil one arrives! I am thrilled, let me tell ya! That way I won't be so stressed out if she arrives early...

Catching Up...I think she is becoming a Princess

Today I finished another paper. That means I've only got 2 to go! (of course, they are the big ones for each course. The "final", ya know. But hey. 2. That sounds do-able!) In celebration, I'm taking some time to upload, edit, and post photos from the past couple of weeks.

When Mommy consents to wear Belle... Gwen insists we BOTH go take a look in the mirror!

Gwen made her own Valentines this year. Homemade fingerpaint. She thought it was delicious. (It is entirely edible. However, glitter is not.)

Eric took a sick day this week to recover from a nasty cold. Gwen was thrilled to have time during the day to play with Daddy. And even more excited when he showed her how wonderful it can be to crawl under the bed. Here they are together under Gwen's crib. She thought it was hilarious!

Have you noticed a theme? Pretty much every picture has Gwen sporting a Princess dress. This week she also discovered that she had just enough dresses to share with her baby dolls. Now they take turns being Belle, Cinderella, and Aurora.

What I don't have pictures of is how she is obsessed with putting her dresses to bed in the bassinet we brought out of storage for upcoming arrival. It is in our bedroom, but I find her in there laying her Princess dresses in one at a time, saying: "Shhhh. G-night Aurora. It's okay. It's okay. Go to sleep. Shhhh." And she'll stroke them so softly and tenderly. Repeat for each dress. A very reassuring mommy. She's going to be such a great big sister!

Also don't have pictures of how she puts her small hand-held polly pocket sized Cinderella, Aurora, and their accompanying dresses to sleep in her sparkly shoes every night. It is really funny.

Stay tuned for photos of cookie decorating, update on sewing project, and other fun!

Reward

15 page paper COMPLETED!!!!! Hooray!

A focused, busy week of research and writing! (Doing all the textbook reading, finding articles, gathering other sources and reading them, and typing the entire paper--all within 2 weeks--really pushed me to a thin point where I nearly cracked.) It has been a looooong, exhausting week. While I desperately needed a break during the week, I pushed through....and this is my reward for being diligent!

I treat myself to a little crafting.

sigh.

The bliss of a relaxing project as a reward.

Making a rag quilt for Gwen's toddler bed (she's not in one yet, this is just preparatory)

What is your preferred reward for hard work?

Image Eye Candy

(made from heron feathers)

Amazing, don't you think? I first saw this artist's work when I was a Senior in HS and was struck by it then. Completely constructed using natural materials (often thorns, twigs, or ice as "glue"), native to whatever site, temporary and yet unforgettable. Just a sampling of Andy Goldworthy. If you like what you see, check out Jim Denevan, Christo and Jeanne-Claude, or google Earthworks or Land art. Eye candy, don't you agree? (I have to remind myself I'm supposed to be searching for 'quotable' text for my current paper, not spending hours devouring the amazing imagery!)

Welcome 2011...and I'm already stressing?

I am a planner. I spent Christmas vacation reading textbooks for this coming trimester so I can have a head start and finish early. Last night I got online to see if the professors for my 2 classes this trimester have posted welcome letters and schedules. They have. And both also added required reading that WASN'T on the syllabi from last semester. That is perfectly within their rights, since classes don't start until the 8th, but since I was going off of the required reading already posted to try to "GET AHEAD" and complete all the course work early-- i.e. BEFORE baby comes in early April-- having those extra reading assignments kinda stresses me out.

So I did what I do best and got out my calendar and scheduled out what I have to read every night to complete the coursework a month ahead of time... and something about having all those books and articles glaring at me from my planner for the next 3 months just stressed me out even further rather than becoming a comfort. If I drop a class, I can't take it again until next year. That will set me behind in my graduation goal and mean I'll still be in school when we add a third child-- which could push graduation back an entire year if I have to take off more for first trimester woes. So I can either take both classes now and be kind of overwhelmed for the next 3 months while in my third trimester and possibly have to settle for B's instead of A's, or I can push my entire graduation back a whole year and be juggling larger family responsibilities (i.e. another child) with writing and defending a Thesis. Ugh.

What would YOU do?

Conrad: The Secret Sharer and the Mysterious Floppy Hat

After encouragement from a very good friend (Thanks, Linz!), I am going to proceed to entertain/bore you with my current thoughts on the things I am doing for school.

Right now I am writing a paper on Joseph Conrad's The Secret Sharer, a truly delightful story in the same vein as Heart of Darkness, but not depressing. I am most intrigued by the sometimes obvious, sometimes vague symbolism replete throughout the tale. Today my ideas are centered around the mysterious "floppy white hat" that the Captain takes from his own head, puts on Leggatt (his double)'s head, is left on floating on the top of the water when Leggatt makes his escape, then subsequently is what saves the ship from peril as the Captain uses it as a mark against which he can steer the ship to safety.

What saves the Captain from peril at the end-- this is a great key to the meaning of the tale, I think. The hat is his salvation, gives him a chance to steer his ship to safety, an opportunity to prove himself a capable captain to a crew that doesn't know him, and--most importantly--a chance to erase his own doubts about himself. Because of the hat, he becomes the captain he always had the potential to be.

• If the hat represents the Captain's "floppy" character, fears, and weakness of mind, it makes sense that he would choose to get rid of it in the end once his character has grown stronger. He no longer needs it to protect his own head/thoughts and has truly outgrown it. But, if this is the case, why would he try to pass it off on Leggatt? What protection would it offer L as his subconscious incarnate? Also, how could his abandoned weakness become a guidemark to save the ship? Is self-discovery able to free him of the need for self preservation (the hat protects his head) and allow him to take risks that reveal his abilities?

• If the hat represents the Captain and Leggatt's shared "complete" personality (since they shared it), why would the hat ultimately be abandoned as an unnecessary item? And how could the Captain get by without it any longer? Wouldn't an increased awareness of one's entire self only increase the attachment to an item that expressed that relationship with one's self? And if the water is a common psychological symbol for the subconscious, how would the hat-- a symbol of his acceptance of his "shadow side"-- float upon it and become his salvation?
  

• If the hat represents the Captain's generosity and improved character, why is it described as floppy (carrying a connotation of weakness)? Perhaps generosity to accept oneself, love oneself, could enable one to have greater courage and confidence (explaining the Captain's triumph in the end). But, how does generosity steer a safe course? And, why is the theme of 'kindness' and 'generosity' suddenly thrown upon the reader at the VERY end of the tale as the means of salvation without ever making it a theme elsewhere in the story? Doesn't seem to fit...

• Or is it somehow a combination of these? the hat represents the Captain's fears BECAUSE he does not know himself or his abilities. Coming to know and understand Leggatt (his other self) who arose from his subconscious frees the Captain of a need for self preserving fears. Why he would think that his subconscious self needs these protecting fears, I don't know. Haven't figured that one out. but once he has generously demonstrated his acceptance of himself, given away his fears to Leggatt, and L has safely returned to the sea, the Captain has a reminder of the things he learned in the form of the hat floating upon his subconscious. It provides him a mark (memory of self-discovery and discarded fear) against which he can steer the ship-- and himself-- to safety even while taking risks that prove to EVERYONE his qualification as Captain of the vessel.

So... what IS the hat?
His abandoned fear?
His abandoned weakness?
A reminder of his entire personality, both conscious and subconscious?
His generosity to himself?
What do YOU think?

First Paper and First Sale~!

Just a fun brag sesh:

I am tickled to report that my first paper as a grad student

(a fun little research project

--I'll have to tell you some time about my revelatory experience in the library--

on Mozart's Minuet in D major K355)

was been turned in last night!

Hooray hooray!

and

I sold my first 2 paintings on Etsy last night!

(granted, they were my cheapest listings,

so I'm not making a killing, but still--

someone wanted my work enough to pay money for it!)

Hooray hooray!

and the peasants rejoice!

I have a success story so I can divulge a secret!

I received a communication today. It said this:

"Congratulations! Your application for admission to the Humanities Master of Arts degree program has been approved. We are happy to welcome you and wish you the best in your future work."

That's right folks! It is official! I am going back to school for my Masters degree!
I will be studying through the
California State Dominguez Hills
distance learning program (HUX).
Why am I excited about this opportunity?

• first of all, who ISN'T excited about studying art, music, literature, history, and philosophy? I LOVE the humanities!
  
• short term goal: I'll be qualified to teach humanities and art history at a community college
• the above goal is desirable for both fun/personal fulfillment and for preparedness. It was a harsh reality when I couldn't find ANY full time job 2 years ago despite my 2 majors and years of experience
• distance learning means I'll be free to set my own hours, my own pace, my own homework schedule.
• best part is that the coursework isn't online (though resources are if I need to contact anyone quickly). I won't be glued to a computer, with all the eye and back trouble that accompany it. I can sit in a comfortable chair and read.
  
• I'll be working from home, around Gwen's nap schedule, with some Saturdays to spend in OSU's library on research.
  
• I estimate only 10-12 hours a week for school work.
  
• entire program is only 35 credits, about 2 years to a degree (not counting any time I end up taking off for baby #2)
• The program is very flexible and family-oriented, so deferring or taking breaks for important events like babies or moving won't be a huge paperwork fiasco.
  
• interesting coursework with fun classes on Mayan art history, female literature around the world, etc.
• The program design gives a broad/general base in 5 distinct humanities fields (literature, philosophy, music, art, history) but allows for specific specialization in one or two as well.
  
• I can emphasize 18 hours in Art History which more than doubles my chances of being hired as a professor at a community college post graduation
  
• I can design some of my own credits/coursework to be Asian specific if I desire (which, of course, I do!)
• the above bullet helps keep me "in the know" for my long term goal: after the kids are grown, get a PhD in Asian Art History or Asian Humanities with Korean emphasis
• There are no tests. Every grade is based on essays and papers. Since writing is my strong point, this is a thrilling prospect!
• entire tuition cost of program: 6,000 dollars! (not counting books or fees, of course) and my Education Grant after my service year in Americorps (at the YWCA) comes to 5,000 dollars... so really, we only have to dish out 500 dollars a year! :)

Well, that is it! Celebrate with me folks! Coursework begins in January!

ps. naturally, there is some apprehension. I will not have as much "free" time to do personal hobbies and projects. I'm sure there will be stressful days. I am trying to think positively, however, and view the blessings and opportunities as what they are: tender mercies from a loving Heavenly Father Who truly answers our prayers.

Thoughts on Arriving at Personal Discovery

What crystallizes ideas for you? Most common methods for me:

1. Insomnia. Well, okay, the insomnia doesn't crystallize things for me, but if I have clear ideas come to me at night, I absolutely cannot sleep unless I write them down. I keep a paper and pencil in my night stand for this purpose. I don't even turn on a light or have to write legibly, just to write it down enables me to sigh and fall asleep. Which leads to my true method:

2. Writing thoughts down. Somehow getting something down on paper helps me really figure things out. Don't read my high school journal because it is truly filled page after page with me trying to work through feelings, crushes, what to do or not do, possible consequences, why did I act this way or that way, blah blah blah. I don't consider myself a drama queen, though passionate. You'd never know it from my writing. All that drama is right there. You'd never have guessed it because writing down all that "what is this feeling?" stuff allowed me to draw conclusions and respond in a very sane and mature (at least I thought so at the time) way.

Why this post? I don't know. I guess I was considering how this blog is my journal. And sometimes I still get emotional and dramatic here, but mostly not (it being preserved for posterity and all). So am I still crystallizing ideas? I like to think so. Hmmmm... what is my method now? Insomnia? :)

Probably talking it through with people. Eric especially. I was always the confidant in HS, but rarely the sharer. I think I had trust issues. But that's another post. So conversation as a catalyst for realization is a "newish" method for me of arriving at what I really think. But sometimes I find myself babbling away to a friend and catch myself responding too quickly to their questions-- I say things that I don't think really reflect the true response that I might acquire if I was truly introspective. Just the other day I went for a walk with a friend and found myself too easily parroting my answers about my motives and fears that didn't feel right after I'd spoken them. And then I'm backpedaling to try to get it right but that doesn't quite resonate either. Ever do that? Perhaps in a way, even that helps me to realize the truth? Obviously, at least for me, crystallization by conversation is subject to error.

I think there is no real point to this post. Why do I sometimes write things just to hear myself think? I'm kind of embarrassed, actually, at the rambling nature of this post. I almost want to delete it, or at least edit it down (I already logged back on and went back and cut a huge paragraph after I'd posted it and disconnected from the internet because it was bothering me to think that I am pestering all ya'll and future generations who only want to see photos of family and could care less about my personal thought process) further so it isn't such a strong example of how I think aloud through writing... but here I continue... stopping while I'm ahead. sort of.

It's Official: I'm Getting Published!!!

Here's the email. Everyone rejoice with me!!!! :)

Dear Elisa:

After a LONG silence from our end, I am delighted to give you official notification that your paper on Korean art has been accepted for publication in RICE PAPERS.

The only question I have at this point, before we move into editing and publishing, is whether any of the illustrations are copyrighted. If they are, we will need you to write for permission to reproduce them.

Thank you for an excellent paper and for your patience.

Best,

Van C. Gessel

So now I just need to figure out about those paintings... if only I had easy access to all the same materials! Man, it is going to be much harder to do research away from a campus! (Small obstacle. I'll get over it.) I'm so excited!!!!

Publishing!

My older sister, Tamara, is getting her first novel published, you guys! Check out the review for her novel here. I'm so excited for her! She just needs to sign the contract now, but she has been accepted for publishing! As soon as there are working copies of her novel(s) out there, I'll let ya'll know!

and I'm hoping soon to have my own "official" good news about my Korean art history paper submitted for publication in an Asian scholarly journal. (I heard that good news was coming. off the record.) So now I can just hold my breath to see if it actually happens...