I'm not old

Do birthdays make you feel old? Remind you of your aging? Send you down memory lane? Make you wish for other years? I feel like my birthdays have become less significant to me as I've gotten older. I still love celebrating my children's birthdays, but mine are just... well... I just don't feel compelled to have all the pomp and circumstance for my own day. (Mother's Day, on the other hand, has become a much bigger deal to me!...)

Eric scattered little collections of flowers and post-it notes of love throughout the house so I'd find them when I got up. It was a wonderful surprise that kept on surprising me as I'd discover each new vase! Even when I thought I'd found them all, they just kept appearing! Best one was the laundry room. :)

I had a great birthday with a fun workout in the morning, well-behaved kids, a nice piano lesson with Gwen (I'm her teacher this year and my lessons are hit and miss in their awesomeness), time to work on some sewing, treats brought over, socializing with friends when collecting children from a playdate, City Barbeque deliciousness, and Graeter's ice cream with the gals after bed time. It was a wonderful day!

Birthdays are so interesting because you are celebrating an event you had little to do with successfully accomplishing (we should all give my MOM presents on my birthday!). You are also acknowledging your aging. But you know, I've never felt older on my birthday. And I still don't. I still feel like I'm 24 not 34. (Okay, I don't feel 14 and certainly not 4, so I guess I can measure SOME change!)

Here are a few things that keep me feeling young:

CREATE. I love to make things. Add to the beauty around me. Sew it, bead it, paint it, sing it... I just love to create! Above is a lace tee I made from the lace I had leftover from the wedding dress. Not enough for front and back, so I added a floral pattern for contrast on the back. I LOVE it! My new favorite shirt!

 DANCE. I love to move, to feel the music, to push my body and not be bored while doing it! I get the best workouts when I'm dancing because I push to the end of the song instead of talking myself out of as many reps or slacking off my intensity. Can't slack off when that beat is driving me! I love music and I love having a good time with my friends! I am so happy that I get to teach a "Zumba" class (I'm not a licensed instructor, so technically I can't call it that) once a week!

 EXPLORE. Eric and I are doing monthly stay-cation dates this year. We have had so much fun traveling around the world culinarily! I look forward to visiting some of these destinations for real some day, but in the mean time I'm happy to just explore from a distance!

 MOTHER. My kids keep me on my toes. Keep me busy. Keep me searching for new things and new places and new books and new ways to experience the world. I love seeing simple things through their eyes. Things I take for granted are kindled anew and become magical! Mothering gives me opportunities to help lil ones learn how to cope with imperfect moments (Emmett was not happy for this picture, but I still love it).

 LET GO. I am not always so good at this, but I try to not worry as much. To just enjoy living and not stress about what other people think of my house, my parenting, my financial choices, my occupation choice, my clothes... or my dance moves. These moments are when I can look back and know I was truly, blissfully happy! Photo cred goes to Breanne Weston Photography

 LEARN. I have a voracious appetite for learning new things, whether it be new places and cultures, or history, or skills. I love to read and non-fiction has moved up to my favorite genre of late. Best non-fiction reads of the summer? Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide, What If? Serious Scientific Answers to Absurd Hypothetical Questions, The Omnivore's Dilemma: A Natural History of Four Meals, and In the Heart of the Sea: The Tragedy of the Whaleship Essex. And 2 others I read last year that were also fabulous: Horologicon: A Day's Jaunt Through the Lost Words of the English Language and The Boys in the Boat: Nine Americans and their Epic Quest for Gold in the 1936 Olympics. There is so much to learn and eating it up all keeps me young! Best learning is hands-on and we loved our sight-seeing this summer!

 LOVE. Oh, how can I express. My Eric keeps me young. Our love keeps me young. Our intimacy keeps me young. I. Absolutely. Adore. This. Man. We celebrated 10 years just recently. It was an exquisite excursion!

LAUGH. My mom once told me, "if you can laugh at it, you can live with it." I see the wisdom in this and have tried to find something happy or quirky in every day to keep the stress and worry from creeping in. It works wonders for keeping our family happy!...I will admit that this is soooooo much easier to do when Eric is around. He just makes me laugh so easily! He knows how to diffuse my angst like no one else!!!

 I don't have any great pics to illustrate the remaining things on my list. But I am quite certain that SERVE and FAITH belong there too. Whenever I start to think I've got a lot on my plate, I think of someone else I know whom I've had the opportunity to serve. and I remember to count my blessings. And most definitely my faith in Christ gives me hope and purpose, providing the joy to each day that makes life so wonderful. Without faith all the above things would become dull and lose their luster. Service and faith both keep me young because I remember I am more than myself. Keeps everything in perspective and helps me to appreciate each day. 

 nah, 34 isn't old. Not when I've got my wonderful family around me to keep me young! Happy birthday to me!

Easter Dress Mania!

I promised.

and I deliver. :)

So prep your mouth in that "oh" or "ooh" shape and take a look!

  

Easter morning-- girls in their sweet dresses, me NOT in mine (it wasn't finished), but still bright and spring-y!

Caroline's is a slightly altered See&Sew b6038 with quilter's cotton fabrics...I don't know which ones. a bunch of seemingly random selections in vibrant colors that work together none-the-less! Matching fabrics is honestly one of my favorite parts of sewing! Gwen's is a circle skirt attached to a top from the second-hand store in a jersey knit. Those vertical stripes were inspired by a pic I saw online, but there was no pattern. So I used basic geometry math to adjust the myriad of circle skirt tutorials out there and we just went for it. Turned out well!

They weren't too eager for a photo shoot. Gwen later discovered that her circle skirt was extra twirly, and requested another photo, but we never got around to it. 

 Weeks later, my Easter dress is finished. 

 It is a GORGEOUS mint eyelet from Michael Miller called Mist, lined with white voile, contrasting trim is bias tape from Joann's. I bought the mint invisible zipper online from ZipperStop (very affordable!) My o-so-fashionable necklace is from Volunteers of America, my sandals are the most comfy wedges ever because they are Crocs and I've got my Silver Floral on Magenta Jams on too! lol, Writing all that makes me feel like I'm a fashion blog or something (I give myself airs). 

 The dress has a high, modest back and this great lacing detail. (My apologies for the wrinkled view. I am new to 'fashion photography' and such) I added the pleats as a solution for the unflattering way the fabric was draping originally. It gave me more control over where the draping occurred is much more flattering now!

  The sleeves I designed completely myself!  They are raglan with gathering at the top and a sweet puckering pleat at the arm. I have little ones to chase around-- my own AND I am currently in nursery at church-- so I needed flexibility and mobility. The only thing I might do differently would be to add a hint of elastic at the pleat so that when I'm NOT raising my arms or putting my hands on my hips, the sleeve wouldn't 'stand up' on its own so far away from my torso.

Caroline totally wanted to participate in my photoshoot today... Though getting photographed was HER idea, she only wanted to make silly faces. 

I am BEYOND pleased with how everything turned out! Proud as a peacock, actually! I've got new projects in the works, but I am so happy with how these turned out!

A THIRD of a Century...almost?

Today I turn 33. I know that technically I won't be a third of a century until four months from now---and believe me, we are indeed considering having a small celebration in January JUST to commemorate that significant time!---but I can't help but think it strange. A century sounds forever long, and associating myself with a century, even in a 1/3 fraction, makes me feel...like I am pushing towards ancient. Which is NOT how I feel! I am young and energetic, full of zest for life! So TAKE THAT, you ancient century! Keep your oldness to yourself, why don'cha!

To celebrate the proliferation of threes, here are the top 3 reasons I'm grateful to have been born 33 years ago:

1. my family. I have wonderfully forgiving parents, amazing siblings, the cutest nieces and nephews, and incredibly supportive in-laws! Eric, when I was young and imagining what marriage would be like, I could not possibly have conjured up for myself a more idyllic spouse, best friend, partner-in-everything that you are to me. I absolutely cannot imagine being this happy with anyone else. And our beautiful, precocious children! Man, sometimes I'm overwhelmed with their amazing spirits and ever so humbled to be entrusted with raising them. I love, love, LOVE my little ones! How grateful I am for an eternal family!

2. learning. I love to grow, to progress. I know that is part of Heavenly Father's eternal plan for us, and I'm so grateful for that eternal truth which has and will continue to shape my life. I LOVE learning new things, all KINDS of things, and I am so incredibly grateful to have been born NOW when the gospel is available in its fullness AND when women are afforded so much priceless freedom to learn and grow. I am grateful for a mind that can expand, to think and ponder and to synthesize and create new ideas. Learning for me is definitely tied to scripture, books, and education, but it expands beyond that too. I see sewing, culinary experiments, and painting as extensions of the mind's capacity to grow and create. How grateful I am for education.

  

3. beauty. Oh what a beautiful world. In July I enjoyed the ocean for the 2nd time in my life. It was a splendid day. A day of wonder and contentment surrounded by God's creation. Truly so much beauty in His handiwork. Colors in my garden, an oil painting, or the eyes of my little ones. Music from the throats of birds, evening crickets, piano and orchestra, wind, or clear voices (Josh Groban, Sissel, Hayley Westenra. If you know those names, you know their voices touch something in the soul). Textures and patterns in fabrics or dishes from around the world. Feelings of strength and litheness when I dance--- even though I'd never win a contest for my dancing--- it is the FEELING that is beautiful, which is why I LOVE to dance. How truly grateful I am for beauty, for this beautiful life I am blessed to live. 

Do I feel 1/3 of a century OLD? Absolutely not. I believe that being full of learning, life, and love cultivates beauty IN ME. And therefore, I must not be aging at all. Forever young. :)

20 lb loss, hooray!

Well, folks, I am excited to report that I have successfully lost 20 lbs since I started trying (gym and eating healthy) in late June (6 months ago)!

I am thrilled to have reached my pre-pregnancy weight! I've noticed, though, that even achieving my pre-prego weight has not gotten me back to my pre-prego figure. Apparently, I'm going to have to keep going. In fact, based upon the improvements I've seen over the past 20 lbs and the way I WANT to eventually look, I think I'm going to have to modify my goal weight (which is still 10 lbs away) down another 10 lbs. Which means, if you do the math, that I've reached the half way point! I am happy about it and super motivated to keep working because I'm feeling great and looking great too! My ultimate goal is more ubiquitous, rather than arriving at a specific weight: I want to be back in my favorite jeans from when I was engaged (size 6) and be trim and strong in general. I can't wait to be HOT by summer! (and I'll look awesome in all those graduation pics!)

So even though I'm only half way there, I'm stoked about a 20 lb milestone and looking for a non-food way to celebrate. Trouble is, we don't have any money. Hmmmm.... any ideas?

Ships that have Sailed

No pictures of the girls on this post. Just a lot of thoughts. Here is an instance when my blog is my journal. so only read on if you are actually interested in what goes on in my head. If not, if you just like the funny posts, you are under no obligation to continue. I promise, I won't get my feelings hurt. :)

During our long day of flying to come back out to Idaho, Eric and I had opportunity to talk about a million different things. But the one that really stuck out to me--because I haven't taken time to really think about it...EVER-- was our discussion about 'wishes' or 'desires' or 'dreams' or whatever you would like to call them. A discussion about all the possible things we almost did with our lives as far as education and profession goes. Now I'm not talking about when you are 6 and you want to be a firefighter or when you are 10 and think you will be the next Jane Goodall (um, yes, that was my goal in 3rd-5th grade). Those dreams are valid, but my thoughts revolve around the choices in HS and college that shape your 'career'. Do you ever have those 'what if' moments? Like I said, I had never really thought about all the things I almost did, until now. Suddenly 'what if' is more on my mind.

I love art. and I love biological science. In my younger years, I was pretty good at it, if I do say so myself. I'm not even kidding when I tell you that at the end of 10th grade I told my adviser I wanted to illustrate biology textbooks as a career. I think I would have been amazing at it. Eric tells me there is actually HUGE demand for qualified science-artists who can illustrate what the intellectuals can't. But, that ship has definitely sailed. I don't remember much biology. And this field would not afford me the interaction with people that I thrive on.

I thought about being an architect. The art and engineering was both lovely and challenging... but I was intimidated and scared to pursue such an ambitious field. Plus, BYU didn't have an architecture program. If they had, I might have given it a shot. But that ship has sailed too. I am neither prepared to go into such a rigorous field nor confident that I could design anything fabulous. I guess I will just have to be one of those admirer/critics that appreciates fantastic architecture when she sees it.

Then I was going to be an industrial designer. Again, that combination of art and science was so intriguing to me. But I got in there and realized I was not trendy enough to make really great designs, nor skilled enough to really master all the industrial materials, nor interested in the huge time commitment and ridiculous work hours. I didn't fit in the program and really didn't see myself fitting in the profession. Again, I can admire great design when I see it... but don't want to be the one making it.

I thought I'd make a pretty fabulous landscape architect because I love gardening and being outdoors. But I got talked out of it (I won't say by whom), which I think is a shame. Because I could have been great in this field. But that ship has sailed too because going into landscape would require full time education which I'm not willing to do with little kids... and let's face it, when they aren't little any more, I probably won't want to do it then either. I'll probably keep it as a hobby-- or at least be an annoying client looking over the shoulder of whomever comes to trim our trees when I'm 50. :)

I thought about floral design-- the hands on, almost sculptural elements were satisfying along with the 'outdoorsy' quality to it. The foil, of course, is the business side of things. Plus it could easily digress into floral grunt work and lose that creative, stimulating quality. It can't be all weddings and events, there are also the 'boring' bouquets and balloon thingies.

I thought about illustration because it is a career with a more stable paycheck. I could definitely have done that, and I suppose that door hasn't entirely closed, but it would require self-marketing and business sense.... which, shamefully, I don't possess much of. Which, by the way, is why I would make a terrible 'artist'. I'm not interested in trying to get into the gallery scene, which is where the money is to begin until commissions come in. And that's just it. I'm not eager to seek out commissions.

I love sculpture. That hands on thing again. And I can do it outside or work with natural materials like wood and stone that are just so satisfying. I'm very good in sculpture too, it comes naturally to me. And my work is actually-gasp-right up there with my competition instead of mediocre (like my painting). but it is a)expensive. equipment and materials. b)space consuming. equipment and materials. c) time consuming. I want to focus on my family. and d)marketing. the bane of my artistic pursuits. I guess sculpture will just remain a strong desire-- or a very expensive hobby, if we ever have the money to make that a reality.

Then there are the fields like culinary arts that would be amazing because I LOVE to cook, I love the intellectual, scientific challenge of it combined with the sculptural element to food presentation. Or there are the performing arts that I would have LOVED to actually do something with-- musical theater particularly. Though I'm not the best dancer, so that would probably have been a flop. Still, there are always community productions...

So then we come to teaching. Because that is the field I'm actually pursuing. I can take the art I love--and all those talents at appreciating good design that I DIDN'T create-- and combine it with an art history intellectualism I'm good at and teaching skills that aren't too shabby either... and voila! you've got a career that is flexible enough to allow me the familial focus I demand, stable (hopefully) so I'm actually employable, artistic but without business savvy, and intellectually challenging. I think this is the best I'm going to get at this point. And I think I'll be good at it. and I am excited to teach.

but sometimes I wonder...

especially those hands-on or science-oriented fields that would be so fun...

what if...

But you know what? An entire fleet of possibilities has sailed. And it won't do me any good to mourn their departure. I'm not on a leaky rowboat or anything, I've got a decent rig--- and my beautiful family is here with me too. So while it may not be the first dream or the most exciting or exotic dream I've had, it is a fit. And for those of you who successfully caught the ship I dreamed of catching at one time or another, I'll admit sometimes I'm jealous of you. But I also don't begrudge you your happiness. Maybe I'll take a vacation tour on one of your ships some day. In the mean time. I've got a ship to sail (aka, a paper to finish) and a family on whom I need to focus. Today is infinitely more vital than possible tomorrows of yesterday. So to all those ships that have sailed...

bon voyage.

"Night" stroll

We wanted to take a stroll along the Canyon rim. There's a nice paved trail there. We decided to go in the evening when it would be cool... and that "evening" kind of got away from us and turned into "night". Oh well, had a great time anyway. The girls were bundled up, the scenery was lovely--even as it got too dark to capture on film--and the walk was a great time with Grandpa!

Isn't the Twin Falls temple lovely at night?

Hike down in the Canyon

Papa Allan (aka Grandpa) had a day off work so we decided to go on a morning hike down into the canyon for a good workout, some brisk air, and lovely scenery. It was breathtaking, and I'm not exaggerating about that. If I can be perfectly honest, I've never really thought Twin Falls was pretty (Much to Eric's dismay). This trip changed that for me. I fell in love with the canyon. Can you blame me?

Gwen was in a backpack---not a child carrying backpack, just a regular backpack. She just stood in there. She didn't seem to mind, though.

Caroline enjoyed the Bjorn.

Wild blackberries for a quick snack

Enjoying the river with Ollie

I LOVED the hike down... and got a FABULOUS workout on the way back out. Man. I'm telling you, my Father-in-law makes it look a lot easier than it is! Either that, or I'm in a lot worse shape than I thought. Which, I suppose, is entirely possible.

Family Photos Courtesy of Mama Allan

Several of you have complimented our new family photo (and I'm POSITIVE the rest of you were thinkin it, even if you didn't say so!). Well, this gorgeous photo is the work of my very talented mother-in-law. When Eric was home for Labor Day, she obliged and took some family pics for us. She captured the lighting perfectly, don't you think? There were so many, but here are my favorites:

love this one because you can see Caroline eyeing my glasses... and the next pic was her hand slapped across my face!