#13 Soup in Winter

#13 I love soup on a cold day.

Perfect because it is warm and comforting, makes the entire house smell delicious, and fills you up.

ps. not my pic, just one I got off the internet. Basically what it looked like, though. Enjoy!

My current faves are pureed veggie soups, mostly because they are super healthy and filling without extra calories. They help me feel satisfied and confident that my 'indulgence' isn't going to destroy my goal. If anything, it will help it. Since we got back from vaca, I've instituted Wednesday night as soup night. We've had some awesome ones and more awesome ones scheduled... but the best was our soup last night:

Roasted Garlic and Butternut Squash

(from Soups, Starters, and Salads edited by Felicity Forster)

serves 4-5

• 2 garlic bulbs, outer papery skin removed
• 5 T olive oil (I used 2 and it was still awesome!)
• a few thyme sprigs
• 1 large butternut squash, halved and seeded
• 2 onions, chopped
• 1t ground coriander
• 2 pints/5 C chicken stock
• 1-2 T fresh oregano (or t if using dried)
• salt and ground black pepper

1. preheat oven to 425
2. place garlic bulbs on a piece of foil and pour over half the olive oil. add the thyme sprigs, fold foil around garlic so enclosed completely.
3. place foil parcel on a baking sheet with the butternut squash and brush squash with the a T olive oil.
4. roast the veggies for 25 minutes. reduce temp to 375 and cook 20-25 min more, or until the squash is tender.
5. heat remaining oil in a pan, cook the onions and ground coriander gently for about 10 min, until softened.
6. squeeze roasted garlic out of its papery skin into the onions and scoop the squash out of its skin, adding it to the pan. add the stock, 1 t salt and plenty of black pepper. Bring to a boil and simmer gently for 10 minutes.
7. stir in the oregano, cool soup slightly, then puree in food processor or blender.
8. reheat the soup without allowing it to boil. serve in bowls with salsa and oregano garnish if desired (but we didn't and I didn't miss them. the soup is plenty flavorful by itself!)

a smooth, creamy soup (without cream-- just the great creamy texture of veggies), the deep, nutty flavor of roasted garlic, the sweet subtlety of butternut squash-- absolutely amazing! Caroline thougth this was the best dinner ever!

I am in love!

20 lb loss, hooray!

Well, folks, I am excited to report that I have successfully lost 20 lbs since I started trying (gym and eating healthy) in late June (6 months ago)!

I am thrilled to have reached my pre-pregnancy weight! I've noticed, though, that even achieving my pre-prego weight has not gotten me back to my pre-prego figure. Apparently, I'm going to have to keep going. In fact, based upon the improvements I've seen over the past 20 lbs and the way I WANT to eventually look, I think I'm going to have to modify my goal weight (which is still 10 lbs away) down another 10 lbs. Which means, if you do the math, that I've reached the half way point! I am happy about it and super motivated to keep working because I'm feeling great and looking great too! My ultimate goal is more ubiquitous, rather than arriving at a specific weight: I want to be back in my favorite jeans from when I was engaged (size 6) and be trim and strong in general. I can't wait to be HOT by summer! (and I'll look awesome in all those graduation pics!)

So even though I'm only half way there, I'm stoked about a 20 lb milestone and looking for a non-food way to celebrate. Trouble is, we don't have any money. Hmmmm.... any ideas?

20 pounds, Good Riddance! and Don't come back!

Losing weight after baby isn't as easy as people make it look sometimes. I honestly thought the pounds would just peel off since I planned to nurse Gwen. So many of my friends actually shrunk because their babies just sucked so much out of them. I thought this would be the case for me. You might be interested to know that by the time I decided I needed to be more aggressive in my weight loss efforts, it had already been 5 months since Gwen was born. I had only lost 10 pounds total in that time, and 7.7 of it was Gwen! That means the first 5 months of 'losing the baby weight' resulted in a dismal 2 1/2 lbs.
Well, at that point I began an active weight loss effort.
(April 15th marks the day I wrote about it here.).

and now...

I'm proud as can be to announce...

That's right, folks! I've finally succeeded in
losing 20 lbs

Sorry, no before and after pics. You'll have to take my word for it.

It took months and months (almost 7 if you start counting from April), slow work, lots of effort, TONS of self control (good thing I'm in charge of the groceries or it would have been even harder... Eric loves to snack! And I love to join him!), and P.A.T.I.E.N.C.E.! Thankfully, I've got a very supportive husband who encourages me daily and tells me I'm beautiful on those "fat" days that make me want to give up and understanding friends who don't get offended when I turn down their delicious desserts. I only count the pounds completely off if I can go 7 days on the scale without "relapsing" to that weight again. Well, today marks the 7th day! So to those 20 lbs I say:

"Good bye and Good Riddance!"

oh, and if you try to come back around these parts, you're really gonna be in trouble!

I'm feeling comfortable with myself again, and I'm thrilled about that! So where to go from here?

I'm still not where I want to be, but my goals are less firm in my mind. I just want to look and feel great. I'm not sure if I should set another weight goal or be more specific with a 'size' goal-- like jean size or something. After all, it isn't the weight itself that bothers me at this point, since I'm in the 'normal' range for my height again. It is the target areas and the lack of fitting into clothes that still gets me. I'd like to have more than 5 shirts other than t-shirts to wear. and I'd really like to get back into my old jeans* (though let's be honest: they are size 6s and it just might not happen. I'd be happy with an 8).

*I was pretty depressed a month ago when I finally went with my birthday money to try on some jeans (since it is getting cold and wearing capris just wasn't going to work much longer) and I couldn't fit into the 10s. For those of you that think that is laughable, I'm sorry. I'm not trying to make anyone feel bad. I realize there are plenty of gals out there who also wear a size 12 like me, so there is nothing wrong with that. But since I was a size 6... does that mean there is twice as much of me? Even after losing so much weight? I was feeling pretty down. Don't you hate spending money on something that only reminds you how you still have a ways to go in the weight loss department? Anyway, the jeans were only 10 dollars a pair, so it was worth it. But I still have hopes of getting into that 8 by Christmas... or maybe Valentine's Day is more realistic?

So what do you think? How do I set a specific measurable goal? It isn't like I can go try on jeans every Friday and see if I fit into the right size yet... I need something for daily accountability that I can see in order to keep me motivated. Should I just stick to weight and hope it affects everything? I could set an exercise goal that targets specific areas, but that won't tell me my progress or when I've 'arrived'. What have you done? Suggestions anyone? I've got to ride the momentum while I've got it!

What do YOU do with Green Tomatoes?

Cold came early to Ohio this year. The garden subsequently met it's demise in the compost pile. Ever the "waste not want not" kind of person, I saved all the green tomatoes before trashing the plants. Now, what to do with all these unripe fruits? (that bowl is bigger than you think...)

Being from Arkansas, my Southern pride dictates that I immediately suggest Fried Green Tomatoes. However, since my waistline currently objects to such a proposal, I've been looking for ideas.

Our first endeavor: Salsa Verde with tomatoes instead of tomatillos
...sorta strange, but tolerable with salty enough chips...

Our next endeavor: enchiladas with green filling (not 'green enchiladas'-- that is different)
...a "gag"able dinner which Gwen absolutely refused to eat...

Our 3rd endeavor: baked green tomatoes with brown sugar and buttery club crackers (steadily becoming more and more unhealthy)
...good enough, better than the salsa, not something you would crave, but a fair use for excess green tomatoes...

and finally, because despite the scale's objections I couldn't NOT make some: Oven Fried green tomatoes (they are easier to keep from falling apart this way rather than pan-fried. Not one bit healthier, though!) are next on the menu!...

Don't even ask about my salvaging efforts with end of the season beet greens (not sweet and tasty like the spring variety)...

Neighborhood Halloween Shin-dig with my first Tiered Cake!

Halloween decorations in preparation for festivities. Mostly I just wanted to document how awesome my spiderweb job was.
Last month I started brainstorming about Halloween cake decorating ideas. Such a fun holiday, I couldn't let the creative opportunity pass me by. I decided I wanted to try what is called a topsy-turvy cake or Mad Hatter cake. Tiered. Lots of cake. and I'm only 1.2 lbs away from my current short term weight goal, so there is no way I was going to eat all that cake. I knew Eric, as voracious a junk food consumer as he is, would need help to eat it all. So we decided to invite some neighbors for a lil get together. Perhaps that'a a lil backwards? Don't people normally decide to make a cake because they are throwing a party? Oh well. I digress. So. Just neighbors. Just cake. Just casual. No stress.

I spent the month "researching" how to do the cake, brainstorming ideas, and planning an "attack" on the various steps of the cake making so that it wouldn't become a stressful last minute deal. I got a lot done on Friday during Gwen's naps. That made Saturday's construction both relaxing and fun! I had a blast working on this project!

The cake had 4 "firsts" for me:

1. first topsy turvy
2. first tiered construction
   
3. first fondant application
   
4. first homemade fondant

I learned a ton and had a blast doing it! Don't be honest if you think it looks bad. But other than that, what do you guys think? I was pleased as pie! (or cake!) :)

If you'd like to see the online tutorials I used, follow these links:
how to make a topsy turvy cake
how to make and apply homemade marshmallow fondant (which is way tastier than regular kind)

Life's Lessons #3: Food Does Not Have Feelings

I stare at the few lonely grains of rice on Eric's plate. Or the isolated bite of broccoli. Or the sad carrot left out from the salad. My own plate is invariably clean and spotless. And I squirm in my seat. Trying not to be concerned. It is, afterall, Eric's dinner. Not mine. But in the end I can't resist asking, "Are you going to eat that, Dear?" To which he replies, "No, I'm full."

Now, I don't want it. I'm actually quite full. Satisfied. Content. But what do I say?

"Well then, I'll take it."

Why? Because I don't want this poor bite of pizza or that sad spoonful of soup or that pathetic lump of couscous to be left out. Don't want it to feel rejected and abandoned as it is tossed thoughtlessly in the garbage! Ever eaten the last 1/2 cup of something because you knew it wasn't enough to save in a tupperware but didn't want it to go to waste? Because it might feel like it was being left out of the party. All its buddies got eaten and are together there in the incredible journey through your digestive system while this lonely morsel is about to be thrown away. No. I must eat it. It is the compassionate thing to do.

Okay, this is not a good way to feel about food. Especially considering the pending toddler years and vast amounts of uneaten food that will be pushed around on plates without entering a little mouth. I am trying to eat less, not consume everybody else's leftovers. Maybe it comes from my growing up years when there were food shortages. Or from the lavish compliments I received as a child for my healthy appetite and ability to eat EVERYTHING on my plate. (I always won the Daddy-cooked pancake eating competition with my siblings on Sunday mornings). Whatever the root cause, thinking more about the emotional health of a non-sentient item on my plate rather than about my own goals is not conducive to a healthy lifestyle. A rational approach to food, I think, is one of life's important lessons and perhaps even a lesser virtue. And so, Eric is trying to help me to learn:

Food Does Not Have Feelings!

Baring my Soul

I used to keep an excellent journal. From Junior High, Highschool, and my first 2 years of college, I was an almost daily diligent writer. Then my mission happened, then 2 majors happened, then Eric happened, then working full time happened, then Gwen happened... and my journal writing has petered off to non-existent because I'm so pooped by the end of the day. So it occurred to me that my blog is a way to recapture that journaling habit. I post daily happenings and experiences. I only need to add some personal soul baring, and it is a bonafied journal. Here's to radical honesty:


I cringe every time I see a photo of myself.

Is that what I really look like? I don't feel that frumpy, but it definitely looks that way.I gained quite a bit of weight during my pregnancy with Gwen. Pretty normal, as far as pregnancies go, but I haven't really lost it. Just redistributed it. And since I was trying to get back in shape when we got pregnant, I have quite a ways to go before hitting my target. I decided during all the Easter festivities that as soon as the holiday was over I would finally go on a healthy diet. True to that commitment, I spent a few hours yesterday researching healthy caloric and nutritive intake levels for lactating women. I talked to friends who have been on successful healthy diets (not just the crash kind) to find out some tips and secrets for lasting motivation and enduring results. And then it really started to sink in.

This is going to be HARD work.

I have a long way to go. We got a scale last week so I've spent the week tracking my daily weight. I hover right around-- am I really about to share this information to the entire online bloggerdom?-- 170 pounds. Since my target is 145 (that's what I weigh when I'm fit and muscular. Without the muscle, it should be even lower for my height.), that is a 25 POUND LOSS! Those aren't going to peel off overnight, folks, or even in a couple of months. We're talking long term commitment if I want to reach this goal. It'll be difficult because:
a) I LOVE food! And gourmet international cooking! To me it sounds like a culinary disaster to replace key flavor ingredients with low/fat free substitutions or to skip those recipes altogether. Who wants to have feijouada without the various fatty meats? What if I want to grill lemon-barbeque pork ribs in the summer? What's a good chowder without cream? I know there are alternatives, but most reduce the flavor and therefore, enjoyment, of the food. I want complete freedom to pursue any recipe I find that sounds delicious, not a stunted range of options. Plus, I love to bake and enjoy cake decorating... how can I not eat it when it is sitting right there? This will be very challenging for me.
b) I am tired. and busy. It will be just too easy to make excuses for skipping my exercise each day.
c) but mostly because I am not sure I can really do it.

I'm afraid.

I'm afraid I will give in to temptation. I'm afraid I will lack willpower. I'm afraid I'll tire of healthy menus and snacks and indulge a little too often in a non-healthy recipe. I'm afraid there will be holidays, birthdays, and special social events that threaten my consistency. I'm afraid the weight will be stubborn in coming off. I'm afraid I'll compare myself to other, more successful postpartum moms. I'm afraid I will become frustrated. I'm afraid I will lose motivation after a short 2 weeks. I'm afraid I will fall terribly short of my goal. I'm afraid I will never feel confident about my figure again. I'm afraid I will never feel satisfied looking in the mirror again. I'm afraid of giving up and consigning myself to frumpdom for the rest of my life. I'm afraid I am not going to be able to do this. I'm afraid I don't have what it takes to stick it out to the end of my goal. I'm afraid of failure.

*sigh*. I know I can't have faith and fear at the same time. All things are possible if we put our faith in Christ. Funny to think that my diet matters to Him. "Fear not; Only believe"

I can't really ask you to pray for me and my 'diet' because that just sounds like a really shallow prayer. But if it occurs to you sometime in the next 6 months to pray for me to stick to my nutritional plan, I would be really grateful. I need all the support I can get. My plea is the same as the father who brought his sick daughter to Christ for healing and needed help doing his part:

"Lord, help Thou mine unbelief".

Thanks for letting me bare my soul.